Herbert W Armstrong

   Now, Mr. Spence, that's foolishness. They'll think that is ridiculous. I'm still tempted to do it, though. But anyway, as I look towards the rear of this large building, I see that the deacons have been very active. I don't know; maybe they suspect that I was going to do something like this or comment. I don't know, doing a good job, but it is something that we all must learn to do.

   And it's something that is not natural with us, and that is this matter of endurance or perseverance. If you might want to call it by that title, there's just something about our human nature that we want action now. We want a decision made now. If we have a problem, we want it taken care of now. And it seems like when we come into the Church of God, and the Spirit of God starts working in our minds, and we start understanding the way things should be. And when we see that they are not that way, we want changes made now.

   And we find it very difficult to understand why the changes haven't been. Or, we can look at the political scene, we can look at the foreign scene, we can look and any kind of scene outside the church, and we understand it. We say, "Well, I understand that because, after all, doesn't the Bible say that Satan deceived the whole world?" And it does say that. So, therefore, we can have a little bit of patience.

   But now, our brothers and sisters in the church—they should know better. The church should know better. Why don't they make this change? Why don't they make that change? Why do they allow this? Why do they allow that? Why do they do this, and why don't they do that, and so on?

   And we become very impatient, and we don't want to endure maybe some of the trials, the problems, the situations, the frustrations as we live our lives as sons and daughters of Almighty God.

   In a way, it's like a mother and a father. They'll see their youngster—oh, when they're small, you know, and they're little infants, or maybe they're in that cute age stage, you're what? You know they're so cute and so wonderful. And they're our children, and this and that, and they allow for their mistakes. But when they start entering into their teens or there about, we start expecting more from them, which we should. But so often, we expect more than we really should.

   The daughter, "Why can't you cook like mother?" and, "Why can't that young man keep the lawn, clean out the garage, or do the work like his father?" We find it very difficult to understand why they can't grasp it if we tell them once. I mean, after all, if they're paying attention, right? If you're paying attention, you should learn it one time, that's all you need.

   And yet, the Bible is filled with injection, with instruction, with correction, with guidance, time after time after time after time because God knows we're pretty thick-headed. Oh, we hear the word, we hear the instruction, we hear the guidance, but then we start modifying it and we start watering it down because "I am special," In my case, this is allowable," well "I'm just weak," well "I'll overcome that next week," well "I'll change this later on when I'm stronger."

   And really, I think if all of us applied the same stringent rule that we tend to do with our youngsters, we would fall flat on our face quickly and be thankful that God is merciful, and kind, and He is enduring you.

   You know, God must look down sometimes and shake His head and turn to Christ and say, "Boy, we've got a doozy in this one." But He's very patient and very kind and very loving. But brethren, our big problem so often relates not to our fellow workers, wherever your job might be, not to society, not even necessarily with our friends who are outside the church. But most of the time, the problems relate to that overall empirical self that involves the spirit of God. That means you as a child of God. It involves your brothers and sisters in the church and the church at large. And so, anything that takes place on that very close plane, it seems, when we're going out, when we are looking out, we have a much stricter, much, much stricter bunch of rules and regulations and requirements. And when they don't live up to that — boy, thumbs down.

   Now, when it comes the other way, now, that's another matter. We are skewed, and we justify, and we let ourselves do many things that someone else would say is not right. You know, the biggest thing that we have to endure, brethren, is self — your nature, my nature. I think all of us who have been in the church any length of time whatsoever realize that when we first came into the church, we first came to a knowledge of what God said to do. We found out about the Sabbath Day, and in most cases, that was a little bit difficult because most of us were used to observing Sunday as the day of worship, the holy day. Like one of the fellows told me in the St. Louis church, he says, "Well, I see you're going to be a Sunday preacher." So, I'm preaching on Sunday.

   We came out of various denominations, various churches, and we realized that according to the word of God, He says, "You shall keep the seventh day holy." And that was difficult. In some cases, in a number of cases involved, actually even a change of jobs because obviously you cannot keep a day holy and also be working on that day. Well, that's a little bit difficult to get over.

   And I can well remember when I first started attending — it was in Pasadena at that time; we lived in the San Fernando Valley — and it seemed like God hit me right between the eyes every Sabbath. Well, it was only true. I mean, after all, He was opening my mind to new truth. So I found out about the Sabbath and started keeping the Sabbath. I didn't want to do it, but I couldn't find any loopholes.

   And the next Sabbath, they were teaching tithing. Now, I thought I was a pretty good Christian. My sons then, at that time, were very small infants, so I figured, well, it's about time to start having a little bit of Christian teaching. So I started attending the nearest church to where we lived at that time. And of course, I thought, well, I should be helping them out, so I gave them $5 every Sunday. They made me a deacon in a month. I think that's a pretty good amount — $5! I mean, you know, it wasn't bad at that time. I think I was making around $200-$225 a week, which was an excellent salary in those years. And I'm sitting there comfortably, well-satisfied with myself, a young growing Christian. And this fellow gets up there and says, "Hey man..." Not in those words, of course. He says, "God says you should be commanding — you are commanded, rather — to tithe."

   That's right, "Man, I've been giving $5 every Sunday, and I agree with that! Tithing is right." Then he explained about a tenth. I had never heard that before in my life. And I said to myself, "This guy is out of his ever-loving mind! I mean, Uncle Sam has both hands in my pocket, and now he's saying I'm supposed to tithe?"

   And I went home, and started reviewing the sermon notes, the scriptures. Again, I searched for that loophole. Couldn't find it. Oh, that hurt, man. He was getting me now where it really meant something, you see. The Sabbath hadn't really been too big a problem in my life because of the type of job I had. I worked for Bendix at that time as a purchasing agent. We didn't work on Saturdays anyway. So that was no big deal — just switched from Sunday to Saturday.

   But now tithing? It was getting real, real personal. Well, I started enduring that. You know, got paid that week, and I wrote it out, and I found out, brethren, that since that time, I've never wanted. Oh, I'll take that back. I've wanted a lot of things, but I have not wanted for what I needed.

   Well, this was long about August 1955. Came to church next Sabbath, and this young man up there is speaking about the wonderful, wonderful Feast of Tabernacles. And I heard the word "feast," and I said, "Boy, that sounds like food. That's good, I like that." He was really getting to myself now. So, "boy, that's real good." Then along about halfway through the sermon, he says, "And when we go to Big Sandy — I said, Big Sandy, what...?" Later on, he says, "Texas, outside of Gladewater, Texas." I'd never been in Texas in all my life and had no desire to go to Texas. All I ever heard about Texas was cowboys, oil wells, and cactus. You know, I didn't want to go to Texas. Didn't ask me whether I wanted to go. He was up there speaking real dogmatically, like, "And God said, you shall go."

   I didn't want to go. Besides, I couldn't afford it. Next Sabbath, he told me how I was going to afford it. Brother, you talk about enduring, I was in a state of shock, I think, for two months straight. I enjoyed the sermons. I thought they were very inspirational, they were wonderful, but I didn't like what I heard. It didn't agree with myself, with the inner man, with me. I mean, I was pretty happy doing my own thing, giving my wife a rough time, being the head of the house. If I wanted to go fishing, I went fishing. Now all of a sudden, I found out I better start learning how to wisely spend my money because somebody else had a prior claim to it.

   Well, that year, I reasoned around why I could not — and actually, I couldn't that first year because it was only about three or four weeks before the Feast started, and I just didn't have it. And I wasn't going to spend my savings. I mean, that was being ridiculous — at least so I thought. But I knew I had to keep the Holy Days. So the days came, Feast of Trumpets, that was beautiful. I really enjoyed that, and we did have a feast — spiritual and physical.

   But now the next one came along: the Day of Atonement. I said to myself — Spence again, I like to talk to myself — I said, "This church is really out of line. I mean, I can understand maybe skipping a noon meal or breakfast, maybe, but not even taking a drink of beer or water or something? I'll die!" But I didn't.

   And then everybody left, just left, gone. Most left right after the Day of Atonement because in California, most were driving back to Big Sandy. In those days, those years, we didn't have any closer Feast sites, so usually, they took about three days driving there. And so, I observed the Holy Days all by myself. I took a blanket, went up to San Fernando Park, took my Bible, and decided, "Well, I'll go up there and commune with nature." I never got so tired of looking at saw grass blades of grass in all my life. And that was one of the longest days of the year. I couldn't believe it. I said, "Well, I'll study awhile." I started reading the Bible and read, and read, and read. And after about five minutes of that, I got tired. And I spent the rest of the day watching that slow-moving sun, waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting. I said, "This sun must have brakes on it somewhere."

   Well, maybe this is just some of the things that I've gone through. I don't know. There was a lot of physical enduring when I came into the church, and it was difficult as we went through the initial times — getting used to the Sabbath, the Holy Days, tithing. But I have found since that really, although that was a trial and although that was and did involve a lot of enduring, it was as nothing compared to the enduring that subsequently I've had to go through — and you have had to go through — when we have found out some of our loved ones, the mental enduring, as we have experienced some of the things that have happened in the church of God, and sometimes enduring individuals in positions of responsibility that cause problems for us individually.

   And you want to say, "How long, oh God, can this happen? Why do you let this individual remain in a position of influence?" Or maybe someone who is a very close friend, and it seems like they just become progressively more and more and more bitter, upset, finger-pointing, negative. And you have to endure it because there's really, well, you really don't know what you can do because you are praying already. You just kind of wish you had a magic hammer you could hit them on the head with and wake them up. But then the greatest enduring of all, like I said, is number one, right down here inside.

   And so often, we don't even realize ourselves how treacherous, how reasoning and excusing, and justifying we are as we excuse ourselves from just slightly, you know, just slightly maybe disobeying God. And God knows, and really deep down deep, we know when we are living in disobedience to God. And we almost want God to be our servant, say, "God, take care of this fellow. God, take care of that woman. God, take care of this situation." And we pray about it almost in a commanding tone. And then we come to say, or we think, and some have thought this, "How can it be the church of God if God allows that to happen?" Rather than looking to the fruit of the spirit of God.

   I hope, brethren, you can say, as I say now — and I mean it — I am not, and I will stress that I am not the same man I was when I came into the church. And the reason I am not is because of the power of God's spirit and the changes that God has worked in my life. I'd like to use the example, and I've used it more than once, as some of you have heard it, endure me. And that is the example of the power of God likening it to the generators at any large dam, hydroelectric power, or coal-fired power, whatever it might be — tremendous generation being, coming forth from some source to run motors, to turn on electrical lights, all types of things that they do with electricity. But in order to use that power, there has to be a switch or a wrist that turns.

   And in our case, in the spiritual sense, to use the great power of Almighty God — and that power is there, available — but it will not come upon us unless we flip our switch. That means we have to desire it, we want it, and we ask for it. And if we really want it, God gives it to us. Of course, we have to watch. We want to say, "God, give me 10 megawatts," and God says, "No, I'll give you one milliwatt." He gives us what we need, using whatever ability we do have.

   The Bible speaks in many places about overcoming. Our worst enemy is self. And sometimes we have to endure ourselves — in frustration, in anguish, in tears, in crying out, because God knows we have to overcome that self. And you just cannot, just cannot automatically overnight, immediately become perfect. Sometimes we have to go through various trials.

   It's like when we were in school: first, you have to learn the tables — two times two is four, three times three is nine, four times four is sixteen, five times five is twenty. Well, that's a different table, isn't it? But sometimes, you see, we foul up the tables like that, and we put our own reasoning and twist upon our lives. But after we learned the tables, using the same mathematical example, we could go on to algebra, trigonometry, calculus. There's no way that you could learn and use calculus if you didn't know the tables.

   Well, in like manner, brethren, we have to start, and we all start on the ground floor. And our rate of growth, our rate of overcoming, our rate of change depends upon us — and how often we flip the switch. There is no such thing as longevity in the church of God, seniority. Just because I have been in the church, for example, for 25 years — in round figures — doesn't mean that I automatically have an accumulation of 25 years of God's spirit and could never fall away. Some are really dedicated and zealous and hating and rebelling against the self, tired of enduring that self. And therefore, they go to God more often, and they turn the switch more often. And therefore, they grow more than some individuals have grown, perhaps in one year, more than some in 10 or 15 or 20. I don't know. And who am I, or who are you, to look at someone else and say, "Hey, I'm better than that individual. Cause boy, I'm doing this, and I'm doing that. I'm helping the widows, I'm giving here, I'm going there, I'm really serving." And perhaps percentage-wise — and God looks on the percent — that individual has grown maybe double, or triple, or quadruple what you've grown because you had a lot more to begin with than they did.

   And thinking about this matter of serving, brethren, the Feast of Tabernacles is much more than just a feast of receiving in, whether it be food — spiritual or physical. It is also an opportunity to serve in various ways. And we have had a dismal lack of volunteers, which makes you wonder. Perhaps too many are just here to enjoy it in a physical sense. Where is the spiritual approach? Talking with a deaconess, and she has had 14 volunteers to help her serve the ladies' room. Three showed up. Now, that's what we're like. That's what I'm like. I don't think you're any different. I like to take it easy. I like to enjoy life.

   I still thank Dr. Hoeh. And I don't remember what year this was — obviously, in the earlier years when I came into the church. And that should be observed, I was in line, and of course, in those years, we still had the old tennis court building, tennis court, besides the building that's now the library at Ambassador College. And all the ladies, of course, they brought in their goodies, and that's one thing about the church: everyone, unless they're in a bad attitude, brings their best dish, and things are always so tasty and so good on any of the Holy Days and the Night to be Observed, of course. So I'm standing in line, licking my chops. Boy, I really wanted to get down there and have some of that food. I could see it laid out there, all those cakes and pies and salads, and I was hungry.

   So I got about to the point, just about really, about three people from when I was going to go shooting out to that line, you know, only about one or two had gone already. And Dr. Hoeh was standing there, and he said, "Say, Mr. Spence, why don't you stand over here and direct traffic?" Well, tremendous, beneficent, wonderful thoughts came into my mind. Don't you believe it. And it was ridiculous, and grumble, grumble, grumble, and here I am hungry, and he wants me to stand over and direct traffic. I mean, all the food, all the goodies are going to be gone by the time I get there. So I did.

   And that started me off. Every holy day thereafter, you know, I was directing traffic or doing something. Had a ball, had a wonderful time. Got to know most of the people. So I started sharing then in some of the spiritual blessings, and I never really lacked for the food.

   Time went by, and I was ordained a deacon. I had a little trouble with that one. I still remember the night we were ordained — Tom Justus and myself. We went home, and we discussed the problems of the world. Now we had this very responsible position. I mean, we were the deacons. Not too long thereafter, Mr. Armstrong gave a sermon about some of these deacons who thought they were running the church. Well, I think there were three deacons at that time who had been deacons a long time, and they obviously weren't trying to run the church, which only left about three others of us who were newly ordained. It was kind of difficult to reason around why it didn't apply to me. So my head got crunchered in a hurry.

   Then a little time went by. Later on, I went to Ambassador College, and they ordained me as a local elder. I'll never forget that day because, again, all the food had been laid out. At this time, they had a much larger tennis court, a lot, lot more food. And I'd gotten used, as a deacon, to going over there. We'd leave services, you know, before the end of the sermon, and the deaconesses and the ladies who were helping would lay it out. And I'd be out there directing traffic, you know, "Set the stuff here," and then every now and then I'd grab a chicken leg or something. I wasn't missing any food at all, man. I was having the choice.

   Then they ordained me a local elder, and I go stand in a stupid line along with the rest of us. I'm standing in line instead of going out there, you know, with the deacons in charge, grabbing this, grabbing that, you know. And I still remember standing on that tennis court, on the track, you know, all three-quarters of the way around that track before we got to the food. And I'm saying to myself, "Why me, God? Why couldn't I stay a deacon? I was happy, I enjoyed the position, I enjoyed serving. Now here I am standing in line," little realizing, brethren, that really it's up to the individual. But the more opportunities we have of serving, the greater the blessing.

   To me, it's a tremendous blessing just to be able to speak to the people of God. Now, I've learned a few lessons. I've learned, number one, you better not put yourself first. You better go to God and claim His promise of inspiration, of help, of guidance, otherwise, you're going to be standing up there — and this has happened a couple of times to me — where no thoughts come to mind, no examples come to mind, you lose your place in the Bible, and you talk about a humbling situation. But what a blessing it is for the spin-off of any individual in serving, and yet our self, our human nature, doesn't want to do it. Our self wants to take care of self and endure the rest, waiting for the next opportunity to satiate or satisfy our selfish desires.

   Matthew, the 10th chapter, and verse 22, it says (Matthew 10:22), "You shall be hated of all for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved." I don't know what there is about it, but there is an automatic antagonism that seems to develop when one has the spirit of God, and someone else does not. I think we've all experienced that. Perhaps we wanted to encourage, to teach, to guide, and try to convert a loved one, and it just seems like there is a rebellion or a spirit of antagonism. Of course, doesn't God say, "Except two agree, how can they walk together?" And the spirit of God has to be there, working with both minds.

   And so it is here. The spirit of God is being poured out upon the church in ever-increasing amounts. But again, we are the switches, individually, separately. We are deciding how much of that spirit we are going to use in our own life of overcoming this self that we endure every day.

   I'm sure that most of the times, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish — oh, I wish I had more love, more compassion, more thoughtfulness, more consideration, more of the very fruits of Almighty God. And then we turn right around and do something to flip the switch off. We come to the place — or should come to the place — where we abhor ourselves.

   Brethren, we've got to stop pointing the finger unless we point it at ourselves. Talking with a fellow the other day, he was bring out, "You know, years ago I decided when I was in the Marine Corps, it seems like I was automatically was assigned to a unit that had some of the least qualified officers, automatically." I'll never forget Sergeant Scott in boot camp. Sergeant Scott and the other sergeants had a way of making believers out of us, and the officers had a way of making believers out of us, because in those days, you either obeyed and did what they said, or there was such a thing called the brig, or the jail.

   I spent some time in jail. Came back from overseas, and they put me on light duty. I was working behind the soda fountain, making sodas and sundaes and all those other good things. I always assumed when somebody left any money on the top of the counter that it was a tip. Not in the Marine Corps, that's Uncle Sam's. But anyway, the major and the lieutenant who were in charge of the PX embezzled around $50,000. So military intelligence came in one Sunday morning. I can still remember, I was sitting there reading the funnies, you know — I was always up for the news — and listening to "The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You" on the jukebox. These two big guys come up, and I mean, they were big guys. And they asked me if I was Robert Spence, and I said, "Yes." "Come with us." "Come where?" And they had some appropriate words to tell me it was none of my business, just come.

   They picked up every individual who worked in the PX, took us down, interrogated us. Scared, man, I was scared. I still remember my knees knocking to "The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You." They were just vibrating away there. "Now, what have I done? What did they do? You know, they're accusing me of stealing $50,000. I mean, I'm the soda jerk!" So they locked us all up, solitary confinement. And I didn't like that at all, especially when we went to chow, and there must have been around, I would say, a little over 100, maybe 125 or 130 of us in the stockade at that time. And they marched us over to the chow hall — it was about a quarter of a mile away — and all around us were our former buddies, now carrying shotguns. It's amazing how large the end of a shotgun is when it is pointed toward you. So we chopped, chopped over to the chow and have chow, chow hall and had something to eat, came back, and that went on about 10 days.

   I didn't like the brig. I didn't like the way they treated me. Of course, I didn't have any hair anymore, and the first thing they do, you know, is humble you — take your hair off. And then they released us. I don't know whether they ever did catch that major or lieutenant. I sure hope they did. He's the one who got me into that mess. But I still remember I signed a confession. I stole from Uncle Sam. I bet it was $15.87. Those weren't tips, buddy. You stole from Uncle Sam. You should have put that in the cash register.

   Well, I endured that because I had to. I wanted to leave. It's just like when I first went into the Marines. The first thing I did was I sat in that bunk, and I looked at the setting sun, the tears streamed down my cheeks. I wanted to get out of here. I didn't like the way they treated me. I didn't like what they called me, and I had to endure it. The end of the war came. Going home, I was in Guam. So they put us on board a ship, and we went to China. I had to endure that.

   Various actions during the war, of course, as we had individuals that were not qualified. And brethren, let's face it. Most of the time, when we think of somebody being qualified for any position whatsoever, it's, "Number one, I can do a better job than him. What's he doing in that job?" Or you can look at a brother or sister and say, "Boy, what a lousy job of child-rearing they're doing. Look at him and say, 'Boy, he sure doesn't love his wife. Look at the way he's treating her.' Or look at her, man she is really something else again. I'm sure glad I'm not married to her."

   Well, that's true. I'm glad I'm not married to some of you. And you should be glad you're not married to me. It's like some people say, "Boy, I wish I were in their shoes," you know, and usually that's somebody who is better looking — so that applies to most of us — or has more money, or has something that we would like to have, right? But what we don't know is maybe that individual we'd like to exchange shoes with, maybe they're almost dead of cancer.

   You know, it's like God said, He says, "What's it going to gain you to get the whole world and lose your soul?" A getting, acquiring society. Got to have more homes, larger homes, bigger homes, more cars, more swimming pools, airplanes, boats, whatever you want, as if that is happiness. And brethren, we've got to realize that we have got to endure all our lives.

   Revelation, the second chapter, in verse 26 (Revelation 2:26): "And he that overcomes, and keeps my works unto the end." How long are you going to live? How long will I live? None of us know. So why should we say, "Well, I'm going to overcome this tomorrow, or next week, when I get a little bit stronger, I'll change that," putting off to the next day something you should do today. Kind of paraphrasing it. How do you know how long you are going to live? And some, you know, I think we all know individuals who are suffering from various afflictions.

   I remember, I know of several who have various types of physical afflictions — some of them, a type of affliction that you wonder why they have not already died. Now, they've been anointed and prayed for several times. And human nature says, "Well, why hasn't God intervened, raised them up?" And they seem to keep living and living and living rather than perhaps God has let happen to so, let them die. They've made it, they're going to come up in the resurrection. But some, it seems they keep enduring and enduring and enduring. And you almost wonder, "Why does God allow them to keep suffering?" And you know the next thought that automatically will come to our mind: God's not fair. Because we can look right over and see someone else in the full bloom of health, maybe having a beautiful marriage, obedient children, a wonderful home, and as far as you can tell, no problems.

   How can God be fair if He lets one sister or brother be in this condition, and over here, here's an individual having this condition? And the self wants to find fault with God. And brethren, we need to realize that self — that inner nature, that being that we are naturally coupled with, being influenced and amplified by the spirit of Satan — wants to find escape holes from obeying God. Now, you know, or you should know, salvation is between you and God alone. We are influenced by other people. The one who has the greatest influence upon me is my wife. She can influence me. If she's not feeling well, it influences me. If she's acting like a female, then she influences me there, too.

   And sometimes I think my character is developed by being married, which of course it's, it's probably a lot worse the other way. She likes to tell the story, and it's sort of true. We are different. When I'm not feeling well, I just want to be left alone. If I'm miserable, just leave me alone, let me die in peace, you know. Don't come around and put a cloth on my forehead, you know, and do all those nice things. I don't want that — just leave me alone. I don't want to be bothered. I'm just so terrible I want to feel sorry for myself and die. Whereas she would like to have a little attention, a cloth on her forehead, or something like that.

   Several years ago, she sprained both ankles. So she was, you know, healthy other than she couldn't walk very well. So I came home from somewhere, and the boys were home, and so we were cooking something to eat, you know, and, you know, shooting the breeze like men will, and having a ball. And she could hear us talking, but nobody thought to take any food up to her. It didn't enter my mind. And I thought, well, if she's hungry, she'll yell or come down or something, you know.

   So I, in many ways, am quite an endurance to my wife, or I should say, cause her to endure me. But we've got to overcome. That means enduring, persevering, unto the very end. When's the end? Like I said, I don't know when I'm going to die. I don't plan on dying. If it's left up to me, I'm going to stay alive until Christ returns. But He hasn't yet given me that right. Neither has He given it to you.

   You know, I use a lot of my own personal examples, not to puff me up, but because I realize I'm just a normal human being, which means others have gone through similar types of experiences. Not one of us is a special individual in God's sight. We are all His children. And just like we have two boys, we love them both, but they are separate individuals. They have different types of personalities, but it doesn't mean we don't love them. We do. We might handle them or work with them a little bit differently because they are different. And so it is with God with us.

   And when we start feeling sorry for ourselves, and excusing ourselves, and reasoning with ourselves, sometimes God deals with us differently than with others. And sometimes, perhaps God allows, as I mentioned before, the individuals who continue to have perhaps this physical affliction and God hasn't yet intervened. Those individuals sometimes need to realize that maybe it's not just for them, although certainly they will grow in character as they endure that physical trial. But sometimes God allows that to happen as an opportunity for others in that family to grow in character and reliance upon God.

   If God answered our prayers immediately and right away, there wouldn't be any reason to have patience, perseverance, and enduring. But God doesn't do that. And yet God will intervene. He will never forsake us. He will never leave us.

   But, just as a wise parent loves their child, and sometimes we will allow them to do things — like a mother will allow her daughter to make a flop of making that cake so that the daughter can learn, you know, that there is a reason for a certain amount of baking soda, baking powder, whatever it might be you want to put in there. And quite often as young people, we learn by doing. It is an exceptional individual, a young person, who listens to his folks and never questions what the folks say. But most of us, and I include myself, when our parents were telling us something, we said yes, we agreed with them, but mentally, we said, "However, you don't understand, things are different now."

   Now, that's what I thought when I was a young man. My mother used to interrogate me: "Where are you going?" I didn't really know where I was going, I was just going to be with the fellas and have fun, you know, quote-unquote. And whatever unfolded during the night, you know, we went down to Dunn's Parlor, and some of us had maybe a nickel, and they could stick it in the Nickelodeon. That was ancient history, kids, I realize that. And we played a song, and there was a little dance floor there, and if there were some girls there, we'd dance with them. We didn't know what we were going to do, didn't have any guidance in any direction, whatever came. And that's the way the world is — no guidance, no direction, just confusion.

   But brethren, in the church of God, God is guiding, and He is directing, and He is thundering out the way of life that results in eternity. The way of life that is going to do away with the frustrations, the misery, and the unhappiness of this physical life. But how often, how very, very, very, very often do we look at ourselves, our physical self, and we forget what it might be like in the years ahead. We become so occupied with working so we can pay the mortgage, or pay the rent, or put some food on the table, or whatever it might be in this world, that we forget what is the real purpose of life.

   Why are we here? Why am I growing old? I'm beginning to say that to myself more and more. And then somebody guesses my age and guesses about ten years younger than what it actually is, boy, do I feel good. Really makes me feel good. But real deep down in my heart, I know how old I am, and I know that I don't function as ably, as quickly, as energetically as I did when I was younger. And how many of us have expressed the thought, "Oh, if I just had the body with what I know now."

   When you think back — oh man, if I was just — what age do you want? 18, 19, 20, 21 again? Of course some of you are waiting to be that age, I realize. But most of us, if we could just go back and be, say, 21 again, and have what we know upstairs, and have the lessons, and profit from some of the things we've gone through — I mean, there are so many hard lessons. What comes to mind, I remember one time we went up to visit a girl who lived in a town about 18 miles from where I lived, in Fremont, Nebraska. And I was riding a little motor scooter. Never ridden it before in my life, borrowed it. So I'm rolling up there 18 miles, doing fine, no strain.

   So I came up to where the railroad track crossed the highway, and there was a freight train coming. And I realized I better stop, because that train was a lot bigger than me riding on this little motor scooter. Well, this type of motor scooter, the way you stopped it was you pressed this little metal bar down on top of the spark plug, which shorted out the magneto spark plug, that's the way it stopped the motor. No flipping switch or anything else, just press it down. So here I am, roaring up at about 40 miles an hour toward this railroad track, the train he's roaring down the track about 40 miles an hour, and we have a point of destiny which I didn't want to be there. So I'm steering, you know, with my left hand, trying to find, "Where is that stupid thing at?" You know, I'm pressing down various things, burnt my finger, hit the top of the cylinder here. All of a sudden, I did stop that motor scooter because I put my finger between the belt and the pulley. And we stopped.

   And I voiced my appreciation. I just threw that in for those of you who've been sleeping back there. I can still remember that night because every time my heart beat, that finger went "Boom, boom." I learned that lesson. You don't stop motor scooters by sticking your finger in between the belt and the little wheel.

   So, wouldn't it be nice if we could come back and have a young body, a young mind, but still know what we know now? Have you ever wanted to do that? Well, we can. And we're going to be, for those who are obedient, in a much better condition — no longer having just the physical body, but in the resurrection, we will have a spiritual body. And finally, with what we have learned, we will have the full power of God. And not only that, but we will have the power to make a judgmental decision and carry it out at that time.

   I think all of us at times have seen something that needed to be done. I'm sure there has been at least one, at least one individual driving out of this parking lot who did not, would not, refuse to obey the man out there who was maybe trying to stop him so the other line could go through. "I'm going forward," you know? I'm sure there has been at least one. I'm sure also that parking attendant at that time wished he had the power of God to just push the car back, maybe even bend the fender up a little bit to teach him a lesson.

   But brethren, we need to realize that in the days that this Feast pictures, the people are going to be physical human beings, and they're going to have to be taught the right way. The spirit of God, of course, is going to make it possible because their minds will be opened. But in that Last Great Day, which pictures the great resurrection of all who have never had a chance... And I was thinking this morning, you know, unless God calls someone in a few short years ahead, I probably am the only one in my family. My dad has died. My sisters aren't interested, and I kind of look forward to talking with them, saying, "Hey, you thought I was a weirdo, didn't you? You thought I was really weird, keeping the Sabbath and the Holy Days and going off to the Ozarks eight, nine days. You thought that was really weird. And, Ti, you thought I was out of my ever-loving mind."

   Now let me instruct you a little bit. I remember my friend Bob Vitney that I went to school with and used to go out on dates with. Bob's dead now. But I stopped by to see him when I was transferred to the New York City area, and we were reviewing old times. And I'm dying of thirst — well, I wasn't really, but I thought I was. You know, it was a hot summer day. And finally, I said, "Hey Bob, why don't you offer me a beer?" And he said, "Why? I didn't know you drank."

   It's going to be an opportunity you see at that time to educate the people of the right way of Christianity — not a false way, a way of a bunch of dos and don'ts. "If you're a Christian, you do this, and you don't do that. You do this, you don't do that." But a Christian way of living from the self, the innermost being, empowered by the spirit of God, overcoming the one that is the hardest to overcome — yourself. And stop the finger-pointing, stop the excusing, stop making judgmental decisions. Because if you can't carry it out, then you carry it to God.

   It was like those fellows in the service. They made decisions, and I learned the hard way. Well, what good is it going to do me if I can't make a decision, if I can't be empowered to make a change? Why should I get all frustrated? Now maybe you might not like the way things have been conducted. Maybe it would not be conducted the same as it would if you were in charge. And I'm sure that's true because we're all different. But the fact still remains: God's running the show, and it's up to Him that we should go.

   I value my life. I really do. I really want to be there. I want to finally have some intelligence that is real intelligence. And with it, and the experiences I've had, learning many lessons the hard way, I want to have the power of God so that I can carry out and do and serve in a good and a right way. And we have been given that opportunity. You have been given an opportunity, and I have been given that opportunity. And yet, God says, "Why do you call me Lord, Lord, and not do what I say?"

   And the self says, "Yeah, but. I want to keep the Sabbath the way I think is right. I want to keep the Holy Days the way I think is right. I want to tithe the way I think is right. This is my interpretation of the Bible." And brethren, we need to realize God looks down on our heart. He really does. He checks us out. And if you want to find escape clauses, you'll find them because you'll make them. But if you really, I mean really, want to be there, if you really want to be changed, you really want to finally have the love of God and the power of God and your whole being wants that above everything else, and that's your attitude — no matter what might transpire, no matter what might happen — you keep that attitude, and you will receive the gift of eternal life.

   In I Corinthians, the 9th chapter and verse 24 (I Corinthians 9:24), it says: "Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receives the prize? And so run, that ye may obtain. And every man that strives for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown, but we an incorruptible." And so therefore, "so run I, not as uncertainly; so fight, I, not as one that beateth the air." In other words, Paul is saying here, "Look, I didn't play act. I'm running. I didn't sort of jog in one place. I'm really spinning my arms around, I'm breathing heavy as boy, I'm really running great!" but I'm hardly moving.

   No, he recognized he had to strive. He says, "I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway." Now, if an apostle could say that, how much more could we say that? I don't want to be a castaway, but I want to strive, and I want to overcome. Oh yes, I admit I have failures. I backslide. But this I know: it's God who is compassionate and merciful. And if I were to get on my knees and ask God to forgive me, He does. And He forgets it. Why should I keep moaning and groaning and complaining and bringing it up before Him all the time?

   If I really repented, I repented. God knows it, and He forgets it. Never make the mistake that every time you pray, you keep going back and recounting and recounting and recounting your sins. God knows that, and He's forgotten them.

   But I want to be there. And I want to keep my body under subjection — that means myself. That means me. That means you and yourself. And so we live this life, and we endure this life. We endure the human nature that we still have. Gradually, we should be changing it as we flip that switch and have more and more of the power of God. But I think we all realize there are events that lie ahead of the church — the Great Tribulation. You say, "Well, I won't be there. I'm going to be obedient to God, I'll be in the place of safety, wherever that might be." And sometimes people speculate where this place of safety is. Some say Petra. Well, how are you going to get to Petra? That's across the ocean. I don't know. I don't know where is going to be.

   Like I told the St. Louis church, "Maybe it's East St. Louis. I don't know. I don't care where it is, I just want to be there." But do you realize, brethren, you talk about a time of trial. And sometimes they say, "Boy, once God protects us and we're removed, and we're over there, wherever it might be, we're never, ever more going to have the problems."

   Oh yes. Oh yes. Because you are the problem. And if some have a problem now getting along with their brother or sister who lives across town, what are you going to do if they're living right next to you in very close proximity? And maybe they have been deficient in rearing their children or whatever. So, whatever the trials might be, I don't know, we're going to have trials. We're going to have troubles. As I said before, I think most of it will be right here amongst ourselves because we're so close to each other.

   If a brother or sister gets angry at me and gives me hurtful words or whatever it might be, or takes advantage of me, that would hurt me a lot more than someone whom I just might know in a business way, because that's my brother, that's my sister. How can they do that to me? Well, they do it to you because they haven't been as close to God as they should have been. And maybe God is allowing it for you to endure and grow in character and patience and recognize we're all a bunch of clods.

   I mean, who is the great and the mighty amongst us? We don't have too many great and mighty among us, we just don't. And yet, look at what God is working with us. He's changing us, He's empowering us, and giving us the power of His Spirit and the love of God and with the wonderful promise of being able to really serve in the world tomorrow as Gods. I think that's something we need to realize.

   And God says, "I will never forsake you." Sometimes we think God has, when He allows the trials to happen, but we shouldn't do that, because He's there. He knows what's going on, and He knows it's for our good.

   Hebrews, the 13th chapter and verse 5 (Hebrews 13:5), where it says, "Let your conduct be without covetousness; and be content with such things as you have: for He has said, I will never leave you, nor forsake you." That's a promise. And we can go to God and receive help.

   And then in the 12th chapter of Hebrews, verse 1 (Hebrews 12:1), "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us." My race is my life. Your race is your life. The cross you bear is what you are. That includes everything about you — your physical circumstances, financial, might even be the one you're married to, for all I know. Whatever your cross might be, that's your life. Maybe God called you, and you didn't have much education, and therefore, you really cannot and are not capable of earning even an average living. But God has called you and blessed you with His Spirit. For you to find fault with God is foolishness, for in His sight, you are richer by far than any millionaire.

   Verse 2, and this is the key, this is the way you flip that switch. This is the way you receive the power of God. This is the way you receive the ability to overcome. This is the way you receive the love of God, that Christ, living His life in you, can mold you and shape you and form you. And this is the way you can receive eternity by God's gift, when Christ returns. It says: "Looking unto Jesus, the author and should read, perfector."

   And if we flip our own personal switches, and we really look to Christ to live His life in us, to mold and shape us, form us, and change us — yes, and correct us — then we will receive the gift of eternity, of life eternally, of immortality.

   And I want to hear the words, as I hope and pray you want to hear those words said by God: "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter ye into life."