Should you EXPECT your children to be hateful, rebellious? Is it merely a PHASE when children have temper tantrums, shouting defiance at their parents? Read these SHOCKING, and UNBELIEVABLE quotations from the real culprits behind our mounting wave of child crime! WHAT do I do when my child screams 'I HATE You!' to me," ask distraught parents. "Nothing much," answer the child psychologists — "except perhaps sympathize with him, tell him how much you used to hate your parents when you were told to do something, and he'll soon outgrow it — he's just going through a 'phase' which he'll soon pass."
Such are the almost UNBELIEVABLE quotations you are about to read!
Today, rebellious, kicking, screaming, tantrum-throwing children are actually being ENCOURAGED to throw demoniacal RAGES at their parents, because modern child "psychology" has assured a completely gullible age this is merely a "PHASE" through which the child is passing!
The Mythical Phases of Childhood In the last number, we saw without question where the real guilt lies for our burgeoning problem of criminality among youth, and our heinous methods of permissiveness in rearing our children. We saw teachers, law enforcement officials, and the very word of God indict the PARENTS who have swallowed the spineless teachings of Uneducated THEORISTS.
Now, we need to come to clearly see the false concepts behind the "no punishment" school of "child behaviorists."
Almost without fail, modern books available on child psychology will group children, according to various ages, into certain "PHASES" or "STAGES" of growth and development.
For a general view of these patterns, let's notice the following quotation,
"Our observations of child behavior have led us to believe that almost any kind of behavior you can think of... develops by means of re remarkably patterned and largely predictable stages.
"Knowledge of these growth stages can help you a good deal and in a great many ways. To begin with, it can give you an idea of what to expect." (pp. 3-4, Child Behavior, Ilg & Ames).
Should You Expect Disobedience? Let's notice the symptoms of some of these supposed "predictable stages."
"The eighteen-month-old walks down a one-way street, though this one-way street can be rapidly reversed. And this street more often than not seems to lead in a direction exactly opposite to that which the adult has in mind. Asked to 'come here, dear' he either stands still or runs in the opposite direction. (He may even like to walk backwards) Ask him to put something in the wastebasket, and he is more likely to empty out what is already in it. Hold out your hand for the cup which he has just drained, he will drop it on to the floor. Give him a second sock to put on, and he will more likely than not remove the one which is already on his foot. His enjoyment of the opposite may be the reason why it works so well, if he is running away from you, to say 'bye-bye' and walk away from him. Then he may come running. "Not only does he not come when called — he seldom obeys any verbal command. 'No' is his chief word" (p. 22, Child Behavior, Ilg & Ames). To state the "eighteen-month-old" does all these disobedient acts simply by virtue of being 18-months-old is a piteous display of idiocy!
The 18-month-old WILL do these things, ONLY if he has been left without any supervision, has never been trained, never been taught the MEANING of obedience, and has been turned out to "pasture" like any animal, rather than reared by his parents.
Let's really UNDERSTAND.
By having already carelessly ASSUMED any means of punishment or control over a child to be harmful, the child psychologists have laboriously catalogued the "behavior" patterns of children — by merely OBSERVING them.
They have, instead of TRAINING the children, seeing how positive methods of real teaching, instruction and discipline will work, merely "observed" the little children much in the same manner as watching monkeys in cages. They have busily made notes, and collected sage observations. As a result of these widespread "observations," the modern child psychologists have carefully documented certain definite PHASES in the actions of children.
Let's notice carefully, however, that these phases are merely the INEVITABLE reactions of untrained children, undisciplined children, who have been OBSERVED instead of trained! Ask a dog who has been TRAINED to "come here!" and it will OBEY! Give a horse a command when it has been TRAINED, and it will OBEY! But, assure the child behaviorists, you cannot expect such obedience from the infinitely more intelligent, far superior human mind!
My own 18-monthers, when asked to "Come here, dear!" — came here! 'When asked to put something in the wastebasket — they immediately put it in the wastebasket. When holding out my hand for the cups they had drained, they immediately gave them to me. Given a second sock, they always put it on!
Simply because they had been TAUGHT to do these things!
This entire quotation will be discussed later, revealing the really serious consequences which may be reaped by any family foolish enough to believe it.
Later, the authors of this particular work, in breaking down one of the supposed "stages" through which all children are to pass (with varying differences according to their own individuality) the authors state:
"Two and a half years: This is an age about which parents may need warning because so much that the child now does naturally, almost inevitably, is directly contrary to what his parents would like to have him do. The 2½ year-old is not, temperamentally, an easy, adaptable member of any social group. Here we are assured, the little, tiny toddling two-and-a-half-year-old human baby, who is totally carnal, entirely selfish, and yet a very sweet and lovable little reproduction of our own selves is just BOUND to act in this prescribed fashion — simply because he has reached one of the "steps" along the ladder of life — the "stage" at two-and-a-half years of age. Parents are assured this child CANNOT ADAPT! That means, if parents attempt to get him to "adapt" they may run the dire risks 'of "breaking his spirit," "giving him a complex," or any number of perfectly horrible results. Parents are assured the little two-and-a-half-year-old toddler cannot possibly "give in" or "wait awhile"! Therefore, the entire household, whether the father is a truck driver, lawyer, or the President of the United States completely revolves around, waits on, is ordered according to, adapted to, and adjusted to the CHILDISH WHIMS of a little toddling two-and-a-half-year-old baby!
"The change in behavior which takes place between two and two-and-one-half can be rather overwhelming, perhaps to child as well as to the adults who surround him. Two-and-a-half is a peak age of disequilibrium. Parents often say that they can't do a thing with the child of this age.... First of all, two-and-a-half is rigid and inflexible. He wants exactly what he wants when he wants it. He cannot adapt, give in, wait a little while. Everything has to be done just so. Everything has to be in the right place he considers its proper place. For any domestic routine, he sets up a rigid sequence of events which must follow each other always in the same manner."
Can such quotations really appear even credible? Isn't it even a little UNBELIEVABLE that adult human beings COULD POSSIBLY ADVOCATE such a heinous, monstrous, rotten, ABOMINATION in the sight of God?
What would a parent do if he had SERIOUSLY FOLLOWED these idiotic and spineless teachings in some of the following eventualities?
Suppose a little "eighteen-month-old" was toddling off the curb, into the path of rumbling, swiftly-moving traffic! IF HE IS TO BE NORMALLY EXPECTED TO "RUN THE OTHER WAY" IF YOU DARE TO COMMAND HIM TO "COME HERE!" THEN WHAT ARE YOU TO DO?
"Surround him with interesting objects" as the psychologists recommend? How? Is THERE TIME?
Do you merely accept the already quoted thought that the child simply "CANNOT WAIT A WHILE" and that he "SELDOM OBEYS ANY VERBAL COMMAND" and then resign yourself to his IMMEDIATE DEATH???
The authors continue:
"Second, he is extremely domineering and demanding. He must give the orders. He must make the decisions. If he decides, 'mummy do' daddy cannot be accepted as a substitute.... Two-and-a-half is an age of violent emotions. There is little modulation to the emotional life of the child at this age. Fantastic, isn't it? The little two-and-a-half-year-old is extremely domineering and demanding — and HE MUST GIVE THE ORDERS! HE must make the decisions for the family! If HE DECIDES, THAT HIS MOTHER. SHOULD PERFORM SOME TASK FOR HIM, he will not accept "daddy" as a substitute! Thus, gullible parents are assured that these characteristics of a two-and-a-half-year-old child are just as sure, just as irrevocable as an approaching cold front out of the North! There is nothing they can do about it — it just Is "that way"!
"Furthermore, it is an age of opposite extremes.... Total all these characteristics together and you have a child who is not easy to deal with. Vigorous, enthusiastic, energetic, the typical two-and-a-half may be. But he is not an easy person to have around the house. However, mothers will find that great patience, a real understanding of the difficulties of the age and a willingness to use endless techniques to get around rigidities and rituals and stubbornness will help get through the time till the difficult two-and-a-half turns three" (pp. 25-27, Child Behavior, Ilg & Ames).
These empty theories are simply untrue.
To promote the concept that the "domineering and demanding," "order giving," "extremist," "impossible to deal with," "vigorous, enthusiastic, energetic," "rigid," "stubborn" child of two-and-a-half will CHANGE IMMEDIATELY, and enter another phase when he is THREE is pretty poor comfort to a frustrated, worried, apprehensive, beleaguered parent with a monstrous little REBEL he seemingly is unable to control.
Can you see? Can you really comprehend what is BEHIND this false concept?
The behaviorists have merely put together the carnal, natural REBELLION in a child with his obviously increased energies, co-ordination, scope of activity, increased motor facility, longer reach, and growth in all physical capacities.
OBVIOUSLY a REBELLIOUS, UNTRAINED child of FOUR will be getting into even MORE trouble than a rebellious child of ONE and ONE HALF! OBVIOUSLY the eighteen-month-old, who is already REBELLIOUS, and has not had that rebellion driven from him, and who has NOW LEARNED TO RUN, will run from his parents' commands! The child psychologists can very SAFELY predict these "behavior patterns" in untrained, rebellious, resentful, hostile, MONSTROUS little children who have never really known any authority!
Yes, let's really look at what we've read — let's really get PRACTICAL with it, and ask some truly basic questions. Isn't it pretty poor comfort to tell a parent with the little two-and-a-half-year-old already described that he should be willing to use "endless techniques" and develop "understanding" to help him survive the time until his little 2 ½ year-old turns three?
Apparently, my own children were so ignorant of these "stages" through which they have been growing they forgot to express the characteristics that these "stages" should have demanded of them! At any rate, our children, at the "stage" of "two-and-a-half" never were domineering and demanding — they never tried to give orders — they never made the decisions — they ° were never given to temper tantrums — they were decidedly flexible and not at all RIGID. They were able to adapt to anything, they were able to give in constantly — in fact, several times a day, and they were able to wait — even days or months should that have been necessary! But more of this later.
The child psychologists, whom J. Edgar Hoover says, "have substituted indulgence for discipline"! All seem to concur on the general unruliness, balkiness, temper tantrums and explosiveness that supposedly accompany the child of from 1½ to three years of age! But behind it all is one of the most important miscalculations of the modern school of child training.
Do Children "Store Up" Emotions? Frequently, you hear of adults speaking of "getting unwound" by means of recreation or other activity. We talk of being "tense" or "high-strung" or "keyed-up"! So far, so good. This, to a degree, is absolutely true.
Every adult, especially engaged in the type of occupation which demands high-tension mental concentration, needs a "change of pace" once in awhile — to "unwind"! But wouldn't it be a strange society if the adults were given to weird emotional outbursts, in which they seized a gun, shot down five or six helpless bystanders, cudgelled a policeman to death, and then, their feelings assuaged, lapsed into their ordinary and daily routine? A ridiculous suggestion — to say the least! And yet, this is the EXACT advocation of many who would assure you they are foremost authorities on how to rear children.
It is reasoned that children also need to "unwind"! But, since their minds are not yet intelligent enough to lead them into other recreational activities or diversions, they oftentimes throw a "temper tantrum"! This, assure the child psychologists, is merely a method of "letting off steam" and should be patiently ignored by the parent!
"Anger and resistance are the natural responses to being blocked. Children show this by having temper tantrums when they have to be interrupted to be washed, dressed, or taken to the toilet. They burst out if they are interfered with at play. Hunger and fatigue are other kinds of thwarting situations that produce anger" (emphasis ours) (p. 356, The Complete Book of Mothercraft, Parents Institute). Yes, anger and resistance are the NATURAL responses to being blocked! That is, they are the CARNAL responses. But simply because they are the "natural" responses to authority — does not make them right!
"At about the age of two, children show anger more often than they are likely to when they are older.... If we can somehow interest him in the new thing we want him to do, we may avoid a scene.... A negative reaction to commands at this age is so common that the foresighted mother tries to avoid conflict by giving as few orders as possible and making requests instead" (p. 356-357, The Complete Book of Mothercraft, Parents Institute). What an unbelievable quotation! How does a parent in a restaurant, or in a public market or shop, really put these empty theories into practice? HOW would you apply this ridiculous suggestion in the following circumstance?
You are in a nice restaurant with your wife and children. Johnnie, aged 2½, becomes angry at the food you've chosen for him. While you are trying to politely give the waitress your order, Johnnie begins to SCREAM with anger! He shouts, at the top of his high-pitched voice, "No! No! No! I DON'T WANT THAT!" and, throwing himself to the floor, begins to kick, cry and scream in a frenzy of unbridled emotion!
Do the parents merely calmly smile, placidly ignore Johnnie, and go right on ordering?
IF THEY SHOULD — I DOUBT IF THE OWNER OF THE RESTAURANT PERMITS THEM TO REMAIN IN HIS PLACE OF BUSINESS!
Well, then, do they "somehow interest him in the new thing" they want him to do, and "avoid a scene?"
Not really very PRACTICAL, is it? Do YOU think the empty theories advocated by today's generation of authority-haters are really WORKABLE?
Here again, the authors assure us a negative reaction to commands is common at this particular age!
This is true — ONLY if the child has not been trained correctly from birth! It is true ONLY if the parents have not punished the child, have not had right and correct discipline, have not known HOW to rear their children properly, but have merely been "observing their children growing up" instead of really actively rearing them! Otherwise, if the child of two years of age has been trained, has been shown the proper and deep LOVE, consideration and care, but at the same time authoritative discipline given from love, and in love, he' will NOT, under any circumstances, at any time, burst into anger and shout "no!" at his parents. I have the living PROOF of this fact in my own home!
"It has already been pointed out that a child between the ages of 18 months and three years tends to say 'no' to every suggestion. If he is not constantly being given directions and commands, he has less chance to build up this habit of balkiness.
"If parents could only train themselves nor to be shocked when their young children express their anger by saying 'I hate you' or by calling them names, they would improve their relations with their children. The average father and mother have forgotten the feelings of resentment they had in early life toward their own parents.... A child drains off his resentment if he is allowed to express.. if he is made to feel guilty over these natural reactions, if he has to suppress them or be punished, his feelings may be in a turmoil! But if his parents can say to his expressions of HATE, 'Of course you feel that way. I used to, too, when someone made me do something,' he doesn't STORE UP guilt over his conflicting feelings about his father and mother." (p. 359, The Complete Book of Mothercraft, Parents Institute). [Emphasis ours].
Notice it! Parents are encouraged to actively aid and abet their children in BREAKING God's fifth commandment! God says, "Honor thy father and mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee!" and, "Children OBEY thy parents in the Lord, for this is right!" But "modern" parents are told to say to their own children "I used to hate my parents, too!" and tell their little toddlers they "understand" why their own children are shouting and screaming in a fit of temper, throwing themselves on the floor, kicking and practically frothing at the mouth while they scream "I HATE YOU!"
The explanation that has been given in this quotation is so frightfully stupid, so horrifyingly naive, and so shockingly idiotic that it leaves one in a veritable quandary.
Listen! The RIGHTEOUSLY INDIGNANT voice of the Almighty God THUNDERS at such insipid and SATANIC teachings from the reaches of His very THRONE IN HEAVEN! GOD IS ANGRY with such swill.
You can't afford to take these things lightly!
The greatest responsibility ever placed on a human being is that of forming, shaping, teaching other human minds! God warns against many becoming TEACHERS, saying they will receive even sterner judgment! To take the potentially wonderful minds of our innocent youth, FRUSTRATING them, TWISTING them, PERVERTING them, allowing them to be filled with DEMONIACAL RAGES, HATREDS, TEMPER OUTBURSTS is a GIANT, GARGANTUAN SIN!
The wages of sin is DEATH (Rom. 6:23). God is going to PUNISH, in no uncertain terms, for any such great crime against pliable young minds as you have seen the modern child psychologists advocate! May God really HELP some of you to SEE it in its clear light!
Habits of Hatred As has already been pointed out, children learn by the formation of habits! The authors of this particular work contradict themselves when they say:
"Parents are sometimes afraid a young child who is allowed to talk back when he is angry will form the habit of doing this. Actually, being allowed while very young to LET OFF STEAM this way, without reproach, may prevent the forming of worse habits of sulkiness and obstinacy." In a section already quoted, they sternly warned that a child must not be given very many directions and commands or he may build up a HABIT OF BALKINESS! But NOW they assure us, ON THE SAME PAGE, that there is no worry of a child forming the habit of talking back when he is angry!
But does a child really "let off steam" and "drain off his resentment" if he is allowed to express it?
Let's understand! The emotions in a tiny child are not like compressed air in a bottle. Child psychologists have followed the theory that human emotions are much like compressing air in a bottle. The more it is compressed, the more resistance against a cap. Just like a pressure cooker, or a boiling pot of water on the stove, they theorize that resentment and rebellion, building up within the child, needs to "explode" and to "let off steam" every now and then! Actually, they are in total error!
The child who is supposedly allowed to "drain off his resentment" in this fashion is the child who could well be opening up his mind to extremely serious consequences in a spiritual sense — of which the child psychologists know nothing. Such a child will very definitely build up a HABIT of rebellion toward authority, disobedience, temper tantrums, and hatred. The thought of allowing a tiny toddling boy of barely over two years of age to shout and scream at his own parents "I HATE You!" and even encouraging him in it is the EXACT thing J. Edgar Hoover talked about when he said our society has been substituting "indulgence for discipline!"
Human emotions do not have "intrinsic worth." Ignorant theorists assume the explosive outbursts and temper tantrums of children are actually lessening the "pressures" within the child, rather than encouraging the SIN of rebellion! It is as if you had a bag of marbles, they theorize, each marble labeled "hatred"! As you dip into the bag and subtract each marble, you have fewer marbles left in the sack! Thus, they reasoned, as a child is allowed to "express himself" in crazed fits of screaming anger, he has increasingly less chance of doing it again!
"The mother who says she cannot ignore a screaming, kicking youngster usually means she has not found out how to use ignoring as a constructive method. Leaving him and going about her business may work better than she thinks it will. The minute he hasn't an audience his pleasure in the performance begins to die down. Naturally, if she herself is so angered by his temper that her attitude in ignoring him is hateful, ignoring will only cause him to feel more hostile. But if she can treat his anger as not too serious a matter, if she is prepared for it just as she is prepared for other primitive ways of acting in early childhood, like eating with fingers, it will be more likely to subside." [emphasis ours]. (p. 358, The Complete Book of Mother-craft, Parents Institute). Parents are told this is merely a phase through which the child is passing, and he will soon get over it all.
"In most families the phase in which tantrums are most likely to occur passes and is forgotten. If tantrums are continuous, however, or recur past the age of five, they may be a signal to seek help from a child-guidance counselor equipped to discover underlying causes." (p. 548-549, The Encyclopedia of Childcare and Guidance, Gruenberg) This very aptly titled book assures parents temper tantrums are nothing mere than the natural outgrowth of the first wails of a tiny baby, expressing his need for "independence!"
... We see that the baby protests against unpleasant experiences by crying. These responses may be considered as emanating from the instinct of self-preservation.
"The response... continues throughout life. This crying of the baby becomes the temper tantrum of the older child and a part of the life-long fight for independence. As such it represents one of the strongest impulses responsible for human behavior." (p. 28, In Defense of Children, Beverly).
These theories are simply untrue. Temper tantrums show a complete lack of self-discipline — and far from being merely a STAGE through which the child is growing, are gravely serious warning signs of a child totally lacking in self-control. It is just such thoughtless teachings as these that have led thousands of children past the bars of justice across our land, and have made hopeless emotional wrecks out of uncounted millions of others.
Rather than going through a "stage" of child development, which they will grow out of, children allowed to express insane rage at their parents are building a mature habit of hatred!
Now notice a refreshingly sound quotation for a change:
"Let us — parents, teachers, and all others having to do with the training of youth — see to it that adolescents acquire self-control. Let us save them from the injurious effects of this new-fangled idea that young people can grow up to do as they please. Confusion worse confounded will be the state of the next generation if it is generally accepted. If you, as a parent, have done your duty in the nursery and during the pre-adolescent period, I assure you the days of actual punishment will be over long ere your youngsters reach their teens. But if for any reason you have failed in the earlier years, and your children have attained adolescence without learning self-control, then I admonish you not to depend exclusively upon these new-fangled psycho-logic notions or on any fantastic interpretation of Freudian philosophy, and refrain from chastisement through fear that your children will not develop leadership. Leadership — bah! Who wants a boy to grow up to be a leader of a criminal gang? Indeed, if we go on after this fashion, we can truly say 'what price leadership!'" [emphasis ours). (p. 141, Piloting Modern Youth, Sadler). Sound advice, indeed! Read it again!
Stages of Growth The child psychologists, observing the growth of hundreds of children, have quickly recognized there really are various "stages" through which children pass.
These phases represent increased motor activity, growing bodies, acquired skills, new means of expression and the widening horizons of all children!
OF COURSE there are "phases!" A rebellious child of 8 months may only wail and scream — finally sucking his thumb for comfort! The same child, still rebellious, may shout "No!" to every parental command and throw violent temper tantrums at age two!
But children are not caged beasts — to be "observed" as they grow. They are precious human lives capable of building real character, and they must be trained!
NATURALLY, an undisciplined, unrestrained child is going to begin to shout "no!" to every command at along about the age of two! He will do this — not simply because he is "two" and is therefore going through a PHASE which demands this type of action — but because he has not been taught to respect and fear authority, and because his increased physical size, increased knowledge of the English language, his increased energy and vigor, COMBINED WITH his increased REBELLION asserts itself in this fashion! The same holds true for all of the theoretical "phases" of unbridled emotion, lack of discipline, self-willed disobedience and a destructive pacifism advocated by the child psychologists. We should thank God Joseph and Mary did a better job in rearing Jesus Christ of Nazareth than that advocated by the modern child psychologists of today!
A parent, upset over childrearing difficulties wrote a child counselor who writes a column for newspapers. The parent wrote:
"'Lately our small boy, aged 4, has begun to threaten us — ridiculously, of course. 'I'll kill you, you old so-and-so'. 'I'll shoot you dead,' and the like silly talk. Sometimes he adds bad words such as no decent person uses. He has never heard them at home. And he has never heard such threats. What is to be done with him? The answer given this distraught parent is so lugubrious as to be obviously and completely a total imbecilic miscalculation. It has condemned ITSELF by its very nature. SURELY our terrifying crime wave, our mounting juvenile delinquency, the tons of evidence being made available to the public through our various media of mass communication have by now begun to convince some of us of the real DANGER of these obviously destructive tidbits of child-psychologists' theories!
ANSWER: Nothing much. Try laughing at him good naturedly. 'My, my, here's Dennis the Menace. Sure enough. Guess we lost our nice little boy. We'll have to find another one. Maybe Georgie from Aunt Mary's'. Usually, by this time, especially if mother or father has been doing something interesting to attract his attention, the tantrum has evaporated. One thing not to do is to show shock or anger. This child is tense for some reason or other — fatigue, anger at the loss of a toy, annoyance at being interrupted — and, having no words to express his feelings adequately in adult terms, uses what he has. The words do not convey to him the meaning the adult takes from them. They are explosive and his emotions are discharged in them — explosively. Accept this as an indication of his growth and development. In time it will be displaced by another form of expression, a little more acceptable to his parents. Children at this stage of growth profit by hearing good stories. It is time for Aesop's Fables. In these simple stories there is drama; evil is there and so is good and the struggle between them is solved to one's satisfaction" (CLIPPING, by Angelo Patri).
Now notice what those who are really face to face with the 'problem advocate. Here, given sarcastically by a leading police department is a SUMMARY of what WILL happen if the "UNBELIEVABLE QUOTATIONS" you have read in this number are followed!
The Formula for Delinquency Here, according to the Houston police department is a perfect formula for rearing a delinquent child! Remember, it is not only the delinquent with whom we are concerned, but the millions of others who, though not actually running afoul of the law, are disobedient, rebellious, and hostile -toward authority. The Houston police department has published twelve rules for raising delinquents. They are as follows:
1. "Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.
2. "When he picks up bad words, laugh at him.
3. "Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is 21 and then let him 'decide for himself'.
4. "Avoid the use of the word 'wrong' It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe, later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.
5. "Pick up everything he leaves lying around — books, shoes and clothing. Do everything for him so he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on to others.
6. "Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.
7. "Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will not be too shocked when the home is broken up later.
8. "Give a child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as YOU had them?
9. "Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.
10. "Take his part against neighbors, teachers and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.
11. "When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, 'I never could do anything with him.
12. "Prepare for a life of grief. You will be apt to have it."
Quit Categorizing Your Children The belief in the "ages" and "phases" of children is more widespread than you may think. Frequently, you may hear parents talk of their children as being "a' mama's boy" or a "daddy's little girl!" But this is only a part of it. Children are frequently "categorized."
This is nothing more than the parent's excuse used in explaining away certain wrong habits, rebellious tendencies, or lack of self-control and self-reliance. Parents use the phrase "boys will be boys!" to justify their children acting like wild heathens, being generally destructive, wasteful, dirty and noisy! Frequently, an emotionally disturbed child who is drawing within himself, lacks any degree of independence, and is headed toward complete introversial tendencies is dubbed "shy" or "bashful."
Some children are said to be "perfect!" Other children are said to be "impossible!" The parents thus categorize these children, letting all and sundry, in the few moments of conversation, know of these "categories" into which their children fit. In this manner, they hope, when their child destroys the neighbor's china or his furniture the neighbor will patiently understand — because he has been intelligently forewarned that this particular child was "impossible."
Possessing a dog that is known to bite, the owners are instructed to keep him muzzled! Having a child that is given to biting, the parents assure their neighbors their child is "a little biter" but that he will soon outgrow this particular "phase!" Many and varied are the mythical phases of childhood! If you want to rear a child who will defy every supposed "stage" through which he is obligated to grow, according to the child psychologists, simply rear him God's way! He will not throw things at one, kick you at one-and-a-half, scream "no!" at two, throw temper tantrums at two-and-a-half, bite the neighbor's children at three, run away from home at three-and-a-half, be over-bold at four, or neurotic at five! Rather, at all these ages, he will be lovable, obedient, helpful, self-reliant, respectful toward authority, and will, most of all, be living proof that the insipid theorizing and demented arguments about his "phases" are totally untrue!
Let us ask a final question of the child psychologists: "If our children don't scream "No!" at 2, run away at three-and-a-half or show other signs of these 'stages' of growth — are they sick?"
(To be continued next issue)