OUR MAD, MAD MARRIAGES - Part 2
Plain Truth Magazine
December 1965
Volume: Vol XXX, No.12
Issue:
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OUR MAD, MAD MARRIAGES - Part 2

(Continued from previous issue)

Our HOMES are breaking up! Divorce has wrenched apart nearly one family in three! Here's what YOU need to do to SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE! Here are the LAWS God set in motion to PRESERVE THE HOME.

   ALL KNOWN facts about the "average" Watts (Los Angeles) rioter were fed into computers. The computers digested, assorted, and analyzed the facts. Then they reported the "average" Watts race rioter was Negro, 17, doing poorly in school — or a dropout, and came from a BROKEN HOME!
   Family life among our peoples is SICK! Our marriages are going MAD!
   And why? Simply because the sacred laws preserving and protecting marriage and the family are being trodden underfoot, desecrated, besmirched, and flagrantly defied!

The Onslaught of Sex

   Maybe it "embarrasses" you to admit it — but you live in a SEX-CRAZED world! Literature is becoming increasingly filled with sex. But what KIND of sex?
   Fully fifty percent of the population of the world you'll meet belong to the opposite sex. Mutual attraction, courtship, love, marriage — the attraction for, and right and normal desire toward, a potential mate, if not an inordinate, illegal, lustful desire, is RIGHT in God's sight. But a refreshing story about two clean young people who grow to love one another, and become married to establish a home would be a miserable FLOP as a motion picture today!
   People lust to see WEIRD sex. They want perverted, distorted, illicit sex. And the writers, directors, actors and sponsors are going to give lustful society exactly what it wants.
   In the last issue we saw clearly the effect this is having on the minds and morals of our peoples. Our homes are sick — and the children are being forced to pay the awful consequences!
   Look what your Creator PROPHESIED of our age! "This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, COVETOUS [lustfully yearning for something illegal, illicit!], boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, WITHOUT NATURAL AFFECTION [but with PERVERTED "affection"], truce-breakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away" (II Tim. 3:1-5).
   What better description of modern society?
   And even religion seems anxious to cooperate. MINISTERS have been telling their flocks lately it's perfectly all right to commit adultery. Some have openly advocated WIFE-SWAPPING! One actually claimed such abominable and adulterous practices had "saved" a marriage! By this, he meant the couple were at least living in the same house. But by No means is their MARRIAGE saved!"
   The chiseling away at the foundations of marriage continues at a frightful pace. Religious bodies unashamedly suggest it is "moral" for MEN to "marry" MEN! A group of homosexuals in the U.S. even began court action against a city for "discrimination."
   Meanwhile, the entertainment world continues its din and clamor of murder, rape, perversion, drug addiction, masochism, sadism, homosexuality, adultery and all other assorted forms of animalistic licentiousness — all dressed in the respectable garb of public "entertainment."
   Your Bible describes the crime and sex lust sweeping across the world today — and very pointedly labels God's people ISRAEL as chief offenders! (Read our free booklet The United States and British Commonwealth in Prophecy if you haven't yet proved our national identity.
   Listen to the description Jeremiah was inspired to write. "How shall I pardon thee [Israel] for this? thy children have forsaken me, and sworn by them that are no gods; when I had fed them to the full [and between us, we're possessors of fully fifty percent of the world's wealth! but represent only one-sixth of the world's population!], they then committed adultery, and assembled themselves by troops in the harlots' houses. They were as fed horses in the morning: everyone neighed after his neighbor's wife!" (Jer. 5:7, 8)
   What a picture! And how absolutely TRUE! Like brute animals, men bray and neigh after other men's wives. Recent publications showed America's top industrialists and businessmen admitted most of them had extramarital affairs.
   God said, "Behold, ye trust in lying words, that cannot profit. Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear falsely...? And... stand before me in this house, which is called by my name, and say, 'We are delivered' to do all these ABOMINATIONS?" (Jer. 7:8-10)
   And who "delivers" our peoples to commit acts of depravity? Who attempts to salve the conscience of people who flagrantly defy every law of God? Let God answer. "For from the least of them even unto the greatest of them everyone is given to covetousness; and from the prophet even unto the priest everyone dealeth falsely. [There's the answer!]... Were they ashamed when they had committed ABOMINATION? Nay, they were not at all ashamed, neither could they blush: therefore they shall fall among them that fall: at the time that I visit them they shall be cast down, saith the Eternal" (Jer. 6:13-15).
   Countless married couples have marital difficulties. They turn to marriage counselors, to their pastors and ministers for advice. What is the advice some of them are receiving?
   Many are being told it is PERFECTLY NORMAL to commit adultery. That sexual deviation, depravity, abnormality or infidelity is sometimes "GOOD" for their marriage!
   What are our families "told" by the magazine articles they read? What about the television husband-and-wife shows? What do the comics say? What do the newspapers tell us about the way other families are living?
   They talk constantly of SEX. Of infidelity, unfaithfulness, unchastity; with a liberal sprinkling of lies, deceit, hypocrisy, crime, and perversion.
   The widely acclaimed television serial "Peyton Place" is a continuing probe into the secret recesses of the minds of "normal" and "modern" people — people who lie, cheat, steal, commit adultery, and drift from one meaningless experience into another.
   But somehow the whole thing seems "justified" — because, after all, ISN'T EVERYONE ELSE DOING IT?
   And besides — all the reasons for the wrong acts are carefully highlighted. By the time the crime, or the rape, or the marital infidelity is revealed — the viewer is found to be sympathizing with the perpetrator's motives.
   No, the modern ministry is NOT ASHAMED — and neither does it blush! Rather, leaders of large, respected religious organizations unashamedly and OPENLY advocate acceptance of homosexuals as perfectly "normal" members of society. Unfaithful mates are excused in their doctrines. Premarital sex experience is called "wholesome" or "good." Masturbation is called normal and "healthy."
   And if all this giant surge toward wild sexual abandon is NORMAL — if it is HEALTHY — then just what, we candidly ask, is ABNORMAL, and UNHEALTHY?
   God thunders from His high heaven:
   "WOE unto them that CALL EVIL GOOD, and good EVIL... which JUSTIFY THE WICKED FOR REWARD, and take away the RIGHTEOUSNESS of the righteous from him!" (Isa. 5:20-23)

What Are the RESULTS?

   Christ said you shall know whether a person or a principle is right by the fruits — by what it produces. And what are the "fruits" of this modern "marriage-go-round" of unbridled REBELLION against the laws God set in motion to preserve our homes?
   Divorce has ripped asunder nearly EVERY THIRD HOME IN THE UNITED STATES! Millions of children must grow up with foster parents, or no parents. Others are reared in unhappy homes, filled with sour, bitter, constant family STRIFE.
   Fully fifty percent of the rising number of homicides involving members of the same family are committed by husbands and wives KILLING each other.
   What ARE the "fruits" of this rising flood of immorality and sex?
   The fruits are rotten. They're hideously bitter. They're noxious and odious.
   And God says OUR OWN WAYS are punishing us! "Thine OWN WICKEDNESS shall correct thee, and thy backslidings shall reprove thee..." (Jer. 2:19). "Your iniquites have turned away these things, and your sins have withholden GOOD things from you" (Jer. 5:25).
   God says there is a way of life that appeals to man — it seems "RIGHT" to the carnal, human mind. But that way of life ends in DEATH. Its fruits are EVIL (Prov. 14:12; 16:25).
   What about it?
   Are you afraid to admit the stark TRUTH about the wretched lives of so many MILLIONS of our families? Are you afraid to be HONEST WITH YOURSELF about YOUR OWN marriage — or the one you hope to enter some day?
   If you're not a spiritual and moral coward, if you're not afraid to ADMIT these things are true — then it's time you learned what God says about the laws of marriage.
   God INSTITUTED marriage. He binds married couples together. Jesus said, "Have ye not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain [two] shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but ONE FLESH. What therefore God hath joined together LET NOT MAN PUT ASUNDER"! (Matt. 19:4-6)
   Marriage is a physical union. But it is a DIVINE INSTITUTION! And GOD AL MIGHTY stands back of it. It is NOT an accidental, changing phenomenon of ancient tribal customs — and it is NOT destined to become a "thing of the past."
   You need to read, and reread our free BOOK On the subject of MARRIAGE you need to see WHY humans marry. You need to learn much YOU WERE NEVER TAUGHT about yourself, and about your marriage. If you're adult, or, if you are engaged to be married and have already set the date for the ceremony, then YOU NEED THIS BOOK.
   Write in immediately for your own copy of the free book God Speaks Out on "The New Morality."
   What are the laws that will PROTECT the home? What kind of ORDER should exist in the family? Who is in charge? Is marriage a 50-50 proposition? Should wives leave out the word "obey" when saying their marriage vows?
   Listen to what your Creator says about the GOVERNMENT in the home — and compare. THINK about it. Ask yourself whether YOUR marriage is governed this way — GOD's way. Ask yourself whether you KNOW many whose marriages are governed THIS way.

GOVERNMENT in the Home

   First, take a look at the order in your home. WHO IS IN CHARGE? Is there anyone who is in direct AUTHORITY over the family? Anyone who can make FINAL decisions? Anyone who really CONTROLS the family unit?
   Our booklet, The Plain Truth About Child Rearing covers this subject thoroughly, and much has already been said about the deplorable upside down conditions in millions of families today where males and females are changing roles — where fathers are NOT the leaders in the home.
   God Almighty established GOVERNMENT in the home.
   He made the man to be the HEAD of the family — to RULE OVER the family. But HOW? What KIND of "rule"? In what specific WAYS is the father to govern his own family?
   Let God answer.
   "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church: and He is the Savior of the body" (Eph. 5:22-23).
   For those who TREMBLE before the sacred Word of God, (Isa. 66:2) this important scripture gives us several great principles!
   First, it reveals the GREAT principle that SIN PLUS SIN DOES NOT EQUAL NO SIN! Let me explain. Since God says the wife is to submit unto the husband AS UNTO THE LORD, and since He makes NO DISTINCTION concerning poor husbands, weak husbands, dirty husbands, lazy husbands, or any husband who is not really performing his responsibilities correctly — then your Creator makes it clear the wife's duties remain BOUND — REGARDLESS as to the performance of the husband!
   Let's simplify it.
   No wife, according to the LAWS OF GOD, has any "right" to SIN AGAINST THE HUSBAND by refusing to OBEY him — because he first sins against her! It is terribly important you understand this vital principle of scripture. God says "Likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any OBEY NOT THE WORD [are NOT the right kind of providers, are NOT treating their wives and children correctly, are NOT following God's Word] they also may without the word be won by the conversation [CONDUCT] of the wives; while they behold your chaste conduct [margin] with fear" (I Pet. 3:1-2).
   That is the very BASIS of Christianity. If one sin is an "excuse" for ANOTHER sin, you couldn't have a Savior!
   But what happens, in the average home? The husband tries to point out a fault of the wife. The wife immediately retaliates by pointing out WORSE faults of the husband. Husband takes the defensive. The wife's wounded pride continues to probe and search through all his old sins — in an attempt at self-justification!
   And it works both ways. The wife tries to point out an inadequacy, a weakness, a sin of the husband. His masculine pride is hurt. So he retaliates by completely ignoring the point she's trying to make, and begins to heap abuse upon her because of HER faults!
   That's human nature.
   And it's WRONG! It's Evil! It is invalid, irrelevant, dishonest, and does NOT PROVE anything, and NEVER solves the problem!
   Do you get the point? So long as two marital partners live together in carnal animosity, in the belief that all the fault lies with the OTHER person — there is no beginning BASIS for happiness in the home.
   The instant either one of the marital partners begins to OBEY GOD in JUST THIS ONE IMPORTANT POINT this MAJOR stigma to happiness will be removed. The OBEDIENT partner will simply REFUSE to reason "sin plus sin equals no sin." He or she will never again try to JUSTIFY THE SELF by pointing out the SINS OF THE OTHER! Once EITHER ONE of the partners does this, the cause of dozens of arguments will be removed. But it's not natural to listen patiently to your faults, and then sincerely ACKNOWLEDGE them, and resolve, with God's help, to DO something about them.
   It's not natural to FORGIVE the mate, to OVERLOOK weaknesses, faults, sins — knowing YOU are also weak — no, it's not NATURAL, it's SPIRITUAL. And marriage is founded on SPIRITUAL BONDS.
   That's why marriages need SPIRITUAL foundations to be truly happy!
   The second great principle God reveals through the apostle Paul in Ephesians 5:22-23 is that the husband is the literal HEAD of the family; and, further, is HEAD of it in EXACTLY THE SAME MANNER as Christ is HEAD of the Church!
   Few professing Christians will really understand this. Why? Simply because precious few professing "Christians" of today look upon Christ as their loving, forgiving, understanding, kindly, yet MASTERFUL, FIRM, STRONG, POWERFUL RULER! They don't acknowledge Him as Boss over their lives!
   How does Christ RULE in His true Church?
   Remember, Christ is ruling over a group He has mercifully FORGIVEN! Who composes the Church? Former crooks, criminals, perverts, sex deviates, liars, cheats, murderers, adulterers, fornicators, hypocrites, slanderers. Does that sound too strong?
   Let's ask God about it. Paul was inspired to write, "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abuser of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And SUCH WERE SOME OF YOU; but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are JUSTIFIED in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God" (I Cor. 6:9-11).
   God says, "For I will be MERCIFUL to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more!" (Heb. 8:12) And what a TREMENDOUS statement. What if God had said, "For I will NOT BE Merciful — and their sins and iniquities will I REMEMBER FOREVER"!? We would live our lives in TERROR of God, if He had.
   But God promises, "For as the heaven is high above the earth, so GREAT is His mercy toward them that fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us." (Ps. 103:11-12)
   WHOM does Christ rule over? Human beings — filled with faults, shortcomings, and weaknesses! Former SINNERS. Yet He rules in LOVE, in deep understanding and patience — not condoning sins, but forgiving them WHEN THEY'RE REPENTED of!
   How should husbands "rule" over wives? AS CHRIST RULES THE CHURCH!
   That means deep UNDERSTANDING when unpleasant situations occur. It means overlooking some of the weaknesses, the faults the mistakes. It does NOT mean condoning wrong conduct, but it means a totally different ATTITUDE in CORRECTING such problems than most husbands possess.
   And how many husbands do you know who are just as PATIENT, as UNDERSTANDING, as KIND to their wives as is Christ to the Church? How many are just as FIRM in their absolute dedication to God's laws — yet just as FORGIVING when a sin has been REPENTED Of?
   Wives are commanded to "be discreet, chaste, keepers at home not involved in a myriad of clubs, parties, civic groups; or holding down a second job) good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed" (Titus 2:5).
   For more on the right GOVERNMENT in the home — write for the free article, "How to Have a Happy Marriage."

Be a FAMILY

   Why is family life deteriorating so rapidly in our societies?
   Simply because the entire WAY OF LIFE of our modern "cultures" has totally changed.
   Families simply don't live as FAMILIES enough. Take the entertainment picture. How many millions of families sit before the television set by the hours — oftentimes even including mealtime — with hardly a word passing between them except whatever is necessary for food, or turning the dial?
   Drive-in movies, restaurants, clubs, lodges, parties, novels, television, shopping trips; all these take their toll on our family life.
   How often do YOU enjoy an interesting evening together around a piano? How often do you teach your children some useful and constructive skill? How often do the parents play various constructive games with their children?
   If you do plan an evening out, or a short trip; is your FAMILY included?
   When you go to a restaurant — are the children with you?
   Think about it.
   Family life is being STIFLED in our modern societies — simply because many families have CEASED BEING families — and are becoming public gatherings of casual acquaintances.
   Parents don't know their children. They don't know their children's' friends; their studies in school; their hopes and dreams. Children don't really KNOW their parents — don't even know exactly WHAT DAD DOES FOR A LIVING, chances are. Don't know WHAT KIND OF A DAY Mom lives, chances are.
   You don't believe it? Take a test. Ask your boy or girl exactly what kind of work you do. What are the problems you face — what are the various aspects of your labor? Ask your children to describe the mother's day at home. You may be surprised.
   Parents — ask your children what they did in school. With whom they did it. What did they learn by it? You'll find yourself in a discussion with your children if you do.
   Let's not kid yourselves. You KNOW most of you are simply NOT LIVING TOGETHER AS A FAMILY! So why WONDER, why be surprised, if you're having family difficulties?
   You can change. Any time. It's entirely up to you.
   Why not begin to include YOUR FAMILY in nearly ALL your entertainment? Why not begin to really CONTROL your TV viewing? Why not begin to have meals together more, and make them interesting by DELIBERATELY creating interesting topics of conversation?
   Try living a day DIFFERENTLY — starting tomorrow!

Your DIFFERENT Day!

   First, prepare for the day, the night before. Go to bed early enough to get up about one half hour or an hour earlier than you usually do — depending on circumstances, of course.
   Plan to spend that extra time around the breakfast table, and after, with your family!
   Wives, PLAN AHEAD what kind of "special" change you're going to put into the breakfast routine. Husbands, PLAN AHEAD how you'll spring out of bed, and, REGARDLESS of how you feel, FORCE yourself to say a cheerful and happy "good morning!" to your wife and children.
   Supervise your children's dressing, their hygienic measures — and do so with real CHEER in your Voice, TEACHING them how to do it better, more effectively.
   Bounce into the kitchen with a whistle, or a song — MAKE yourself enjoy the morning. THINK about the activities of the day — don't just bury yourself in morning news, or papers, or worrying about the problems you'll face later. Think about the welfare of YOUR OWN FAMILY first.
   Think philosophically! Ask your children WHY THEY GOT UP. It'll tax your imagination — and surprise them! All right, WHY DID you? So you can prepare to WORK, so you can prepare to COME HOME; so you can be prepared to WORK AGAIN? Or is there a PURPOSE in your living?
   When you ask — you'll have to find an answer. The results could be pretty interesting.
   Husbands, while you're on the job, put your whole BEING into it — but in an off moment, TAKE TIME TO THINK ABOUT YOUR HOME, YOUR FAMILY!
   Call your wife once in a while; if for no other reason than to tell her you love her, and how sweet she is to you. Think about doing something a little DIFFERENT for her on your different day. Take home a dozen roses, if you can afford it — or even a nice card, if you can't. EXPRESS yourself. You'll be amazed how much your wife will appreciate it.
   Wives, THINK about what your husband is doing FOR YOU during the day — plan to make his evening as relaxing, as interesting, as comfortable as possible.
   Too many couples live life accidentally. They stumble through one necessary routine after the other — never really looking ahead, never really accomplishing anything DELIBERATELY, with planned THOUGHT, in advance.
   But your marriage is like a beautiful garden. It needs lots of careful ATTENTION — needs watering, cultivating, pruning, weeding out of wrong practices and habits. It needs DILIGENT work — not just casual, accidental, thoughtless happenstance.
   Why not TURN OFF YOUR TELEVISION set just for once — and FORCE yourself to find some constructive, useful thing to discuss — or a game to play, or something to read aloud, or some music to play, or listen to? What about an old-fashioned ice-cream freezer? How about showing the children how to make it? Even your boys would like to learn a little about cooking, too, Mom — and they SHOULD!
   You'll be surprised how QUIET it gets around the home when your TV is turned off for one whole evening. And you'll be surprised how much it may tax the ingenuity of some of you to simply FIND SOMETHING TO DO.
   How about reading some of the PROVERBS aloud to your children — think of examples where you can APPLY them, and put them in simple terms so your children can really understand?
   Can we get the point? Happiness is NOT THE RESULT OF AN ACCIDENT. A successful marriage is not a result of a fortuitous match! Rather, it's the end result of a lot of carefully thought-out, planned, diligent EFFORT! It takes WORK! Marriage is a PROFESSION — and it takes a lot of SKILL to really succeed at it.

Make GOD a Part of Your Home

   And above all, QUIT LEAVING GOD out of your home!
   Instead of perfunctorily "saying grace" over your food in nearly unintelligible mumbles, BRING YOUR FAMILY SITUATIONS INTO YOUR PRAYERS.
   Ask God to BLESS your home, your family, to FORGIVE your mistakes, and to DRAW YOU MORE CLOSELY TOGETHER!
   Have a morning BIBLE STUDY together! You'll be amazed at the results!
   Were you arguing before breakfast? How CAN you ask the Almighty Creator GOD to BLESS YOUR FOOD, and your HOME, while anger and spite exists in your hearts? Chances are, the only REASON you have arguments is because you AREN'T PRAYING enough, aren't really CLOSE TO YOUR GOD!
   Does it EMBARRASS you to pray?
   Why? There's no "special" method. God hears you when you want Him to. Turn to some of the Psalms — see how David prayed. Read the fifth and sixth chapters of Matthew — see what Christ taught you. Get away from the formal ceremony of stereotyped prayers you learned from your parents and grandparents — TALK DIRECTLY TO GOD. He's REALLY LISTENING!
   You KNOW you'll find it pretty difficult to continue in a bad mood when you ask God to become a listening, active, LIVING member of your household.
   Do you KNOW God? Do you know His nature, His purpose, His promises to YOU, PERSONALLY?
   If so — get busy and USE that knowledge. If you DON'T know these things — then get busy and PROVE them, to yourself. But realize one VITALLY important fact. Any marriage based on GOD'S LAWS, and any marital partners SEEKING GOD'S HELP Will NEVER separate, will NEVER end in divorce, Will NEVER result in violence.
   As we go along in the nineteenth year of Ambassador Colleges, I reflect there have been more than TWO HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE MARRIAGES between our students in that time. Many of them have sizeable families now — and some of their children are already young teenagers.
   And there has not been one single separation; not one single divorce!
   WHY?
   Because they have been taught GOD'S LAWS about marriage — the SAME laws YOU'LL read when you study the booklets and articles I've mentioned in this article!
   What is the FOUNDATION of your home? Is it your CREATOR? Or lust, jealousy, vanity and greed? Is it the BIBLE, and the LAWS OF GOD, Or the "ideas" of your friends, neighbors, parents, and business associates?
   Your marriage can be as happy as you want it to be. As successful as you're willing to have it. And no other human being on earth can change it — it's all entirely up to you! Read the articles and booklets mentioned in this article. STUDY them — and then get busy and live that DIFFERENT DAY tomorrow — and from now on!

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Plain Truth MagazineDecember 1965Vol XXX, No.12