I try to be a light to my unconverted husband but, since I get the wrong result, I must be doing the wrong thing. Just how should I work at being a light and a good influence?
Some wives, when new converts, have gotten off to a bad start, in the wrong direction. As soon as they begin to learn God's wonderful way of life, they think they must share that blessing with their husbands, only to find, to their utter dismay, that, no matter how persuasive they may be, their husbands want none of their religion! When your husband comes home in the evening, do NOT think this is your golden opportunity to "work on him" to try to convert him. Instead, forget your discouraging, man — wearying schemes and be ready to be a pleasant companion. Do not meet him at the door with a frown and a complaint — and don't tell him all about how much trouble the children have been: control the children during the day so your husband will not have to spend his first hour each evening re-taming them. Look around you each afternoon before your husband arrives home from work and ask yourself, "Do I have everything in order so he will enjoy coming home to me?" If not it would be wise to correct the situation in a hurry. Do NOT make it a point to leave your religious literature lying around — to try to lure him. This can upset him and make him less efficient in his work. If he likes to read, lay out his favorite reading matter for him, and leave your favorite reading matter in its rightful inconspicuous place. When a wife becomes converted — and begins to really change and improve her wifely habits by learning and applying God's principles — her husband will notice the improvement. Unconverted husbands have reported that they were astounded and pleased by the improvement that was so outstanding a part of their wives' new interest in religion. This noticeable improvement of the wife makes the home happier and sometimes leads to the conversion of the husband. In following God's principles, and learning to be a better wife and helper, you will develop character through your study, and by your example of patience and submission. These attributes will influence your husband much better than words. When he asks questions, be very careful how you answer. Tell him only as much as he wants to know (I Peter 3:15), Notice that this scripture commands that you answer in meekness and fear — you should fear to answer improperly. Answer him briefly, clearly, and concisely; and do not go beyond answering the question he asks. If you do not know the answer, tell him so and write to us for help. Even if your husband never becomes interested in serving God, you should be interested in him and his work — even if such an occupation is not your normal interest. Remember you are his helper for life. You can attain success by helping him to be successful. Encourage your husband. but do not nag at him or push him.