How do human sexual emotions develop? Why do certain youths develop into homosexuals or transvestites? In this article you will read knowledge even sex researchers may not have understood!
MANY OF us may be in for a surprise — or a shock! It does not automatically happen that a young man and woman become sexually attracted to each other. Nor does it automatically happen that they want to deeply love, cherish, marry and protect one another. These emotions or desires are not all inherited or innate in the human constitution.
Heterosexuality — sexual desire toward a member of the opposite sex — is not altogether inborn. Nor is homosexuality — sexual desire toward a member of one's own sex. Nor, for that matter, are other damaging sexual feelings or fears about sex. Human beings are not born with an inherited sexual orientation or sexual instinct that drives them irrevocably in a certain direction. There is a reason why many homosexuals assume they were "born that way"; why they assume their sexual attractions and emotions are as natural to them as the color of their eyes. Genetics and hormones play a part in developing human sexuality, but not in the way many think. And individual responses to cultural, parental and personal experiences play a very big part in molding human sexual feelings. But, in addition, there is critical knowledge beyond biology and cultural studies that is missing in modern education about human sexual and emotional development.
Scientific sex research is late on the scene. It began just after the middle of the 19th century. Sex researchers have indeed gained certain knowledge and understanding about genetics, hormones and environment and their combined effect on shaping human sexuality. Yet, "the impetus behind the homosexual urge contained in the male bond remains unexplained," writes psychologist C.A. Tripp in summarizing such research in his book The Homosexual Matrix. page 53. But the missing impetus is explained in the pages of your Bible! Humanity through the ages has rejected essential knowledge from the Creator. Researchers, rejecting revealed knowledge, are looking for answers to damaging human problems — sexual and otherwise — only by their own limited physical tools of discovery and reasoning. They look for answers in the physical makeup of the human body or brain when the major problem is a spiritual matter — a problem in the spiritual attitude, motivation and desires of individuals. Researchers have developed theories to explain individual human sexual feelings, problems and motivations without understanding the true nature of human nature. We must understand this first. Then we can rightly use the added demonstrable discoveries of human sexual research. Why has humanity been plagued with so many damaging sexual problems? Why sexual fears and phobias? Why so many unhappy intimate marital relationships? Why so many damaging feelings among human beings and between the sexes? The Bible reveals the origin of these problems in events before the first man and woman were created!
First Perverted Being
Scripture reveals the existence of a great spirit being, an archangel, who rebelled against the laws and government — the way — of his Creator (Isa. 14:12-15; Ezek. 28:12-19). His name, in Latin, is Lucifer and means "lightbringer." He was created to be the bringer of God's truth to the earth, inhabited first by angels, later man. Instead, this great archangel swayed one third of God's angels to follow his self-seeking, self-willed "get" way (Rev. 12:4). His angels became demons. These spirit beings rejected God's way of love — the "give" way. The "give" or love way is the way of diligent respect and concern for the position and welfare of others, as well as concern for oneself God's laws define what love is. Lucifer's rebellion caused his name to be changed to Satan, meaning "the adversary." Satan reasoned the "get" way was what he wanted. It is the attitude of being your own authority of right and wrong. It is the way of lust, doing whatever seems pleasing and exciting to you — experimenting with things instead of wanting to go God's way. Happiness, Satan reasoned, is getting all you can for yourself. He became a competitor with God. Then God planned to create, through free moral agency, God's own character in human beings and bring them into the God FAMILY. The account of this marvelous purpose for humans begins in Genesis 1:3. "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness," said the Creator (Gen. 1:26). Think of it! God is reproducing himself! Human existence is merely a physical, chemical existence. This earth is the training and testing ground for the production of godly character. (This is explained more thoroughly in our free booklet Why Were You Born?) Satan resented human sexuality and the great purpose God had in creating it. Satan was sexless (Mark 12:25). He could not reproduce, but he could sway human minds with his attitudes and nature.
Sex Good to Sex Evil
When God recreated a habitable earth after Satan's rebellion and put humans on it, we read, "male and female created he them" (Gen. 1:27). The Creator called all of his creation, including sex in humans, "good" (verse 31). God didn't leave this first human couple ignorant of their sexuality or its proper use. Though 'they were unclothed they were unashamed (Gen. 2:25). God became the first great sex educator! He instructed: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Gen. 2:24). Marriage between a properly prepared male and female is the God-ordained sexual orientation and context of sexual relations. God knows the emotional needs of human beings. He said it was "not good that the man should be alone" (Gen. 2:18). Understand this point. It is critical! God knew that the human male needs to give and receive appreciation, affection and love from another human to be happy and fulfilled, to fill an emptiness in life. That is why God created woman. But God designed the human female also to need to receive appreciation and give it, to share in affection and love for other humans and to be fulfilled. That is why God created the family — a God — plane relationship. To establish a family there is the need for sexual attraction. That is why God created sex — made humanity male and female. God ordained marital love and sex as the proper use of the sex drive. Sex in the marriage bond is for more than human reproduction. It is intended to unite a couple in love and respect in a way shared with no other, and to build stable families. In his first sex instruction, God taught that marriage is for persons mature and self-disciplined enough to leave parents and successfully establish a separate home. Parents are to teach appreciation of God's ways to their children by their example. That takes understanding of God's laws and maturity of mind. Youths need mature parents to teach and guide them in their highly impressionable young years to understand the way to true success and happiness. That includes diligently teaching right sexual identification for males and females and wholesome sex education based on God's laws revealed in the Bible. But in his plan to allow humans the opportunity to build character by free moral choice, God had to allow Satan to have contact with the first human couple. He had to see which way they would choose to go. Very quickly, Satan injected into the first woman's mind the false idea that God had lied to them. Eve was deceived into stealing from God, and Adam, dropping his God-ordained leadership role, weakly followed his wife. The first human couple rebelled against their Maker and took something that was not theirs. They had decided to experiment with knowledge, to take upon themselves the prerogative of determining what is good and what is evil. This was all symbolized by the "tree of the knowledge of good and evil." Suddenly their minds had an added and different attitude. They were embarrassed to discover they were naked. They hid from God. When God asked why they hid, Adam replied, "I was afraid, because I was naked" (Gen. 3:10). The Hebrew root for the word naked used here implies bareness in a bad or negative way. God answered, "Who told thee that thou wast naked?" (verse 11). Who? Only Satan had talked to them. But he had conveyed to them the idea that they ought to be ashamed about the way God had created them, about their sexuality and sex differences. Satan is the originator of the idea that sex is intrinsically evil, dirty and shameful. This is how wrong sexual attitudes and feelings among humans first began! Ever since, Satan has worked in human cultures to pervert human attitudes, emotions and relationships. He implants in human minds selfish moods and attitudes so that human beings think these moods or feelings are only inborn human feelings. Some human minds, during early childhood, have allowed and accepted wrong moods or feelings of attraction to the same sex. This process starts so early in some that many homosexuals and lesbians think these are totally inborn human feelings.
Devil — deceived Cultures
Adam and Eve were driven from the Garden of Eden and from contact with God's Spirit. Ever since, humanity, as a whole, has been cut off from God's Spirit, which would have guided them in the right ways of living and to life itself. Mankind was given 6,000 years to develop societies under Satan's sway and experience the results. The terrible results are recorded in the Bible, and, frequently, secular history. Genesis, the introductory book of the Bible, alone records the experience and tragic consequences of almost every type of wrong human and sexual act — as a warning to humanity in all generations. But much of humanity has refused to learn. Human being's today are merely repeating these ugly experiences of previous generations — though we like to think of many of them as new. Through the ages God has called a few people to walk in his ways. God gave his laws and inspired the Bible (II Tim. 3:16) for a special nation — the family of Israel — so mankind would not be totally without knowledge of the way they should live. So they could, if they wanted to understand, find the cause of human problems. Most humans have rejected such knowledge. They have failed to heed the instruction of revealed knowledge from their Creator. Many educated don't believe there are fallen spirit beings influencing and deceiving all humanity (Rev. 12:9); they don't believe that Satan is the unseen ruler and god of this world (II Cor. 4:4). But the apostle Paul revealed, contrary to the enlightened education of this world, how Satan injects his wrong attitudes, desires and emotions into unwary minds: "Wherein in time past ye [now converted Christians] walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience." With what results? "... [fulfilling] the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind" (Eph. 2:2-3). There are no inborn limits or controls to what the human mind can entertain but that which an individual learns or chooses to restrain. Here are the damaging moods, desires and attitudes produced by Satan's "get" way in those who yield to them: "Now the works of the flesh are manifest... Adultery, fornication [sexual immorality], uncleanness [any physical, moral or sexual uncleanness], lasciviousness, idolatry ... hatred... strife... envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like... " (Gal. 5:19-21). Satan and his host inspire attitudes of rebellion, selfishness and lust in human beings. They can insinuate wrong thoughts and desires in minds that are vulnerable to them, even those of young children. But not everyone is equally vulnerable. How anyone person responds to various thoughts or emotions depends upon his culture, upon his upbringing and experiences, upon his learning and internalized values, upon the strength of character. In short, the direction of an individual's sexual feelings and values depends upon what thoughts and emotions are allowed in his mind and developed from infancy on.
How Sexual Sin Enters
Humans are born with sexual emotional capacity. If wrong and damaging emotional and sexual feelings take root in human minds, it is because humans allow and do not resist them. Perhaps they don't realize they should. Perhaps they choose not to resist when they could. Perhaps certain temperamental or emotional weaknesses may make some more vulnerable to certain sexual temptations than others. Some wrong experiences leave deep impressions.
Critical knowledge beyond biology and cultural studies is missing in modern education about human sexual and emotional development.
Other misleading emotions, feelings and desires, repeated enough, become deeply learned and conditioned in the human mind. "Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables," goes an old Spanish proverb. Satan well understands this deep conditioning in human minds and emotions. He works to thwart God's purpose through them. Though many deny it, all humans have been deceived (Rev. 12:9). All become, in one way or another, the slaves of various deceptive sins, pleasures and feelings (John 8:34; Heb. 3:13). They can't shake or escape them all on their own power. It takes strong spiritual power from God, as well as high human motivation and effort, to break the damaging cables of wrong thinking and feeling and then learn the right thinking and emotions revealed in the law of God. A person's most important sex organ is his or her brain! If a person is properly guided in youth by proper role models, example and teaching, he or she will come to respect and desire to adopt' the correct sexual identity. Each will develop respect and love of the opposite sex and develop a right heterosexual desire. Each will also prepare to serve and love, in a right way, other human beings of all ages. But sex education and emotional feelings are not primarily learned by formal instruction. Sex education and emotional feelings about sex automatically start from infancy with the way parents and other influential persons treat others of their own and the opposite sex, and how they treat children. Additional verbal or formal instruction merely reinforces learning. Wrong sexual feelings develop not only out of a wrong culture but also out of ignorance. Many parents have failed to teach their children age-appropriate knowledge about sex. Hush-hush about sex in homes has reaped a fearsome price. Many young people are not taught any right and wholesome attitudes about sex. They are taught no right standards of sexual conduct. They are not taught that certain sexual practices are wrong or damaging and why they are to be avoided. They may have had improper examples of what it means to be a loving, caring male or female. All this may distort a young person's view of sex and right relationships with one's own and the opposite sex. The seedbeds of unfortunate emotional or sexual feelings may be laid in the earliest years of life. Many young persons do not understand their feelings and emotions because they lack proper association or communication with understanding or concerned parents who could help to evaluate their feelings. Without the proper parental example of love, concern and guidance, wrong or misguided affectional feelings toward others can begin to stir sexual feelings and start a wrong pattern of association in the mind. Millions of individuals simply follow peer practices or any exciting erotic emotion or thought that crosses their minds. They seem "natural." But what they may not realize is that wrong thoughts and feelings (adulterous, homosexual or otherwise immoral) can be learned not only from others, but from their own uncontrolled thoughts — and these thoughts are not always natural, but can be injected into their minds unknowingly by an evil spiritual source — by Satan or his demons. Individuals may have allowed themselves to respond to such emotions or patterns so early in life that they become a "natural" part of the way they have always felt. They look back on their life and conclude they must have been "born that way."
Humans seek excitement — something to fill the void, emptiness or loneliness of their lives. What they need is a sense of worth to themselves and others. Whenever wrong sexual or emotional seeds are allowed and cultivated in an attempt to fulfill these needs, they will grow — in youth or even after one is married. Scripture warns us, "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap" (Gal. 6:7). To some, extramarital involvement or homosexual thoughts or acts (a person may not even realize what they are) seem a way to find affection, gain attention, recognition, security or money. Maybe they seem a way of proving sexual prowess or masculinity. Maybe they seem the only option available, given one's lack of confidence or misled desires, feelings or fears about the opposite sex. One wrong thought, uncontrolled or accepted, leads to still more. Maybe a person doesn't know he should resist temptation. Maybe he doesn't care. Minds that feed on wrong emotional or erotic thoughts in various fantasies (especially masturbation fantasies or in conjunction with specific kinds of pornography) will eventually have them ingrained as desires and emotions. Too many cop out and totally blame others for their problems and emotions in life. One's society or culture may be partly to blame. Parents mayor may not have set a right example in their relationships and teaching. Satan may have tempted. But individuals also repeatedly allow themselves to respond to wrong ways of living and thinking.
God is very concerned about the cultural and family environments of human beings. Family and environment are where the foundations of human relationships and sexual feelings, values and ideas are established. A variety of forces in the world is trying to change the concept of family life and the social learning environment so that any sexual experience becomes acceptable. God's laws and awesome purpose for human beings still stand. Sin — the breaking of God's law (I John 3:4) — damages, arrests, limits or prevents full human maturity and godly development. It restricts the proper development of values, outlook and goals in life. Sin, and sexual sin in particular, distorts wholesome feelings to one's own and the opposite sex. It subtly destroys health and minds. It works to destroy respect, appreciation and ability to successfully experience the God-ordained family unit. It undermines the proper example and teaching that adults should be giving to children and future generations. Wrong sexuality opens the door to rapid degeneration and physical and spiritual disease of the human body, mind and spirit. The end results are greater and greater social evils. Only if humans follow God's revealed laws about right relationships to God and between the sexes can true happiness, fulfillment and social stability be achieved.
The Real World of Sexuality
Many unfortunate human sexual and emotional feelings exist — some too obscene to describe (Eph. 5:12). All these warn us of the great varieties of sexual/emotional conditioning that can happen to improperly controlled minds and lives. The majority of males in most cultures are heterosexually oriented. But even heterosexuals allow their minds and sexual feelings to be diverted by wrong desires. Some heterosexuals develop a degree of homosexual interest (a degree of bisexuality). Heterosexual males with effeminate (female) mannerisms also exist. Feminine heterosexual females again are the majority. But there are also masculine-mannered females. The latter, however may still be heterosexual and maternal in interests. There are many masculine-appearing (even super-masculine) male homosexuals and, at the other extreme, effeminate (or "swish" type) male homosexuals. There are all degrees in between. The effeminate type are usually only a small proportion of male homosexuals but, because they are more noticeable, are often erroneously stereotyped to represent the whole. Female homosexuals (lesbians) are often typically feminine in outward appearance and manner. Others are very mannish ("butch" or "dyke"). There are all degrees between these appearances and mannerisms. In modern cultures, not all homosexuals are readily discernible from heterosexuals by outward appearances. There are as many variances in appearances, shape, personality, temperament, preferences in attractions and professions among homosexuals as among heterosexuals. The vast majority of homosexuals of both sexes clearly identify themselves with their gender, but prefer their own sex sexually.
Other Unfortunate Conditioning
Transvestites are persons who cross-dress on various occasions. Research indicates most of these persons are males with heterosexual inclinations, although some have homosexual interests. The majority of transvestite males identify themselves as males but have learned to get an erotic or emotional kick out of wearing items of clothing of the opposite sex, or in passing as a member of the opposite sex. Some can function sexually only after doing so. This distorted emotional condition can often be traced back to early repeated cross-dressing by parents, siblings or by the person himself at some time. Such dressing began to produce exciting emotional or sexual responses that were repeated and cultivated. God commanded the law of Deuteronomy 22:5 to prevent such distorted emotions: "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God." The law of Deuteronomy 22:5 also is intended to discourage another human distortion: transsexuality. Transsexuals (they may be male or female) feel they have the mind and emotions of the opposite sex and are trapped in the wrong physical body. Often such feelings have been traced back to very early childhood upbringing that deprecated or ignored the child's true sex or caused them to experience or value only the feelings and emotions of the opposite sex. Effeminate mannerisms in males may be due to rearing in a totally, or nearly exclusive female environment. Maybe a male wasn't allowed or encouraged to identify with a male and male outlook and thinking. The person picked up certain female ways of acting or feeling about things. Effeminate mannerisms may also be a way of portraying non aggressiveness or reveal that the male does not want to be treated or threatened as an ordinary male may be. Many of these males still have heterosexual interests. Effeminacy is harmful because it damages a male's proper leadership and thinking in a family unit. The learning and conditioning of human sexual interests and emotional feelings are strong. So strong, in fact, that a person assigned the wrong sex at birth for some sex organ abnormality and then raised as a person of that assigned sex, readily develops the expected heterosexual interests for that sex even though his or her true genetics and hormone true genetics and hormone sex. These rare occurrences are sometimes not discovered until puberty changes force the true sex to appear. The book Sexuality and Homosexuality — A New View by Arno Karlen, W.W. Norton & Company, Inc., New York, contains other backgrounds and causes of damaging sexuality.
Sexuality Not Private
Human sexuality is more than one's gender or a sexual act. It is not just a private matter as so many want others to believe. Human sexuality is a total way of thinking, acting and feeling. One's sexuality affects the way one responds to his or her own and the opposite sex, to marriage, to the family experience and to every aspect of life. That's why sex has so much impact on human lives and culture. It's the reason why the Creator commands men and women to develop it rightly.